I’m a dad. I’m 42. I’m white. I will mow the lawn today.

lol to each their own, I suppose.

Something reasonable but unrealistic (“After a meeting with the commissioners, the NFL has pledged to institute a zero tolerance domestic violence policy with automatic one year suspension and loss of wages”) that they will look terrible when backtracking.

In a statistical oddity, his WAR has been 2.0 every season for the last 70 years.

Crap, my milkshake was out there. I hope the boys are okay.

Ssshh! Don’t tell.

Fantastic. I offer this.

Never forget that Tim Kawakami is also terrible.

There was something I learned, a very small baseball thing, that I learned this summer but failed to get in the book. Once when we were playing Pittsburg, the starter tossed a ball back to the umpire to get a new one. He got a new one, then threw a fastball and got a swinging strike. So Andrew Parker, our catcher,…

Ze Germans did it first

The most loved Jalopnik brands collide...

When told he was going back to Cali, Moody responded, “I don’t think so.”

That’s Gold[en] Jerry, Gold[en]!

Damn the Future is my new Luddite-thrash washtub bass band name.

Tiger: [sheepishly walks up to hot babe]

And then post them.

I’m comparing the two side by side to see all the changes they elected to make. They removed the cranes. Why do the Chinese hate cranes?!

Watched the whole thing, wondering who might be in the depths of hell, and found out it was none of the people I was expecting.

I’m one month older than this magazine! I still have boxes of these old things at my parents home that I glance through every few years. I literally wore the covers off some of these from obsessively reading and re-reading, memorizing every detail I could.