Who knew there was such a high demand for luxury cars among the terrorist class?

Why would the Taliban need a finicky german luxury crossover SUV? Has the Toyota Land Cruiser stopped existing? Are Nissan Pathfinders out of production?

the GOP let the horse out of the barn a long time ago but only now is closing the doors. Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn.

Donald Trump is the Witch King of Angmar. No man can slay him, as the Republican primaries have made clear.

Galadriel/Bavmorda 2016: ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR

I am worried my fiance wouldn’t be able to pay the household bills....without my much higher income.

Can you gray out the abortion photos so people need to click to see them? I’m a wuss and can’t handle bloody baby photos.

Florida Man is the superhero we don’t need or deserve, nor would even like to hear of.

This isn’t even that Florida. This could’ve been any other state. Also no meth was involved so as a Floridian, I don’t think this is qualified to be labeled as a Florida Man story.

Eventually someone’s going to find Jimmy Hoffa’s body while chasing down a Missingno.

Giratina isn’t satan, Myotismon is!

God loves everyone. That’s his job. But there is one thing he does hate...

Reject Giratina and all his empty promises. Accept Arceus as the one true lord and savior!

GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GIVE EVERY HUMAN A GUN! WHAT COULD GO WRONG? HUMANS ARE VERY RELIABLE AND NEVER VIOLENT. IF EVERYONE CARRIES A GUN. PROBLEM SOLVED! WILL JUST HAVE SHOOTOUTS EVERY TIME WE GET PISSED AT EACH OTHER. IT’LL BE THE OLD WEST ALL OVER AGAIN. ROAD RAGE? BANG YOUR DEAD! BUMPED INTO ME? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!…

It’s already illegal to kill or injure civilians, isn’t it?

Guns don’t kill people; they just make it really, really easy.

spoons and ice cream are making me fat!!

“At least they didn’t make it erotic.”

That was how we named Bob Dole.

What about Arceus?! I must know how to obtain a god!!