Fancy Feast Mode

I would take the sawzall to the back end until I could make a Cummins/Duramax with a gnarly Banks kit fit. Because the idea of 900 lb/ft worth of sacrilege appeals greatly to me.

Ryan Meowthews was a last minute... scratch... with a broken collar.

Colin Catnip

You've got us all in stitches.

And until last night, he felt that he had to hide the fact that he was gay so he would have a job the next day. Even had to hide it from his own twin brother. That probably sucked pretty bad for him. And now, whether he likes it or not, he's a symbol for all the athletes in the same position he had been in for his…

Paisley was so damn good before he got happy and just started releasing slight variations of the same shitty love song over and over.

I don't know, man. I definitely see your point, but the fact of the matter is that this is a pretty big deal. It shouldn't be, since it's 2014 and all, but it is. Gay athletes have it rough, and for better or for worse, last night was a huge step towards setting a precedent of acceptance. Towards shutting down all the…

I'm right there with ya. It was all very silly, then suddenly, 'Oh, shit, he needs help.'

Many *Danica Patrick* fans are incapable of reading the ticker at the bottom of the screen, *or realizing that they're rooting for the Washington Generals*, and are live-tweeting the race out in excitement. Here are some of those dumbasses, as compiled by Twitter user @steveluvender.

A not-as-great escape of the Yankovic Family.

I also clearly heard the word 'Mansory' in the video. But I didn't notice any matte burnt orange, shiny gold body wraps, or yellow-to-purple color-shift mixed in with the sea of black.

Mmmmmmm. Love me a good Donk. I would drive the goddamn doors off that white Caprice.

Upgrade your exhaust. Stock exhaust systems are pretty restrictive. You're basically trading power and fuel efficiency for low emissions and quietness. Get rid of that catalytic converter, and put on a freer-flowing muffler. It'll cost you a couple hundred bucks to do it right, but you'll make it up in gas savings in…

What I took away from the first article, is that you may not need a flashy first car to grow up and become a auto exec, but you definitely need a badass first car.

I'm with you man. I'm smarter than my car. I don't want it making decisions for me.

Pretty much. I've been kind of in the market for a new car for a couple months now, and every time I drive something I ask if it's available without the infotainment system. Nope. Standard in everything. Doesn't seem like there's any other way to get away from it.

I kind of feel like we're a step and a half away from being automatically issued tickets whenever we exceed the speed limit. And that would be an unfortunate development.

As it should be. It's super cool to just kind of be there. But it kind of sucks to leave without learning anything.