Here in Chicago, ABC Chanel 7 cut into the very end of Final Jeopardy, so now I don’t know if that woman in the middle won or not. Fucking asshole even ruins Jeopardy. Also, fuck you ABC Chanel 7.

They use a stunt double for that shit.

Somebody crank up The Dandy Warhols again. Oh, look, I already did!

I don’t give a shit what beer Jim Gaffigan uses to wash down his multitudinous hot pockets. Fuck this unfunny hack!

Wait, I thought William Devane was a Democrat cuz he looks like a Kennedy.

I wish they’d try something like this with Kevin Can Wait. I’d definitely tune in to watch “Chale and the Ugly Kids”.

We have a deaf dog, and I’m crazy about the sweet boy. My very special lady-friend did all the hard work of raising him from a pup. I just met him when we started dating 5 years ago. He was so jealous at first, but now he’s my sweet boy. Even though he can’t hear me call him that, I know he feels it. . .but also, a…

I binged on a bunch of Norm MacDonald videos last week on Youtube. While I find him mostly hilarious, I’m pretty sure he falls somewhere on the Autism spectrum. He genuinely seems to lack empathy and a sense of decorum. Many comics would find this liberating. I don’t think Norm even gives it any consideration. 

Don’t be silly! We wipe out asses with the Constitution.

The Dark (Ages) Web or The Dark(est Timeline) Web, or Lying-to-Your-Face-Book .

Chicago got thrown of schedule way back when Mayor Washington died in September of 1988. They had to have a special election to replace him in 1989. Maybe we can get Rahm to leave a year early so we can back on track. 

Israel doesn’t want him. I saw their latest tourist campaign, “Israel, still not as dangerous as Chicago.”

Upvoted! For a hated of this shitwad that nearly rivals my own. I say, after he cut his finger at the Brown’s chicken job he had in high school, they should’ve saved the infected fingertip and thrown the rest of this festering sore with legs away.

That seemed odd. I play guitar and sing original songs. I have rich friends, at lest 3 of ‘em. Nobody’s offered to start up a label for my shit. My loaded pals, Heywood Johnson, Dr. Fuku and Roger Yuson could get together and start up HeyFukYu. 

This is sad news. I didn’t know people were paying $17 for avocado toast in Brooklyn. 

I only let that dog attack me twice. The second time was indigestion.

Cough!Cough!Weeds!Cough!Cough! Sorry, Weeds makes me cough a lot. 

I don’t see too many people combining meats in their loaf anymore. When I was a kid the meat counter used to have packages of ground beef, veal and pork, one strip of each side by side by side, looking like a meaty flag, labelled “Meatloaf mix”. My dad would mix in an Italian sausage of two as well. Pretty damn good.

We would’ve also accepted Octopus’s Garden. Poor Ringo, he thought John and Paul were doing him a favor when they gave him songwriting credit for that one.  

The only time I bother to go to the farmer’s market is when they have honeycrisp apples. Even a shitty supermarket honeycrisp that’s been in a room full of carbon dioxide for the last two years tastes good, but the ones that show up at the farmer’s market at the end of September and well into October are crazy sweet,…