That's the way I feel about other artists like Will.I.Am or Macklemore, but with Kanye there is something more there. The crazy ego coupled with the vulnerability and other not-so-beautiful effects of the human condition give his schtick more depth. I agree that there is some bullshit pseudo-intellectualism happening…

I don't live in WI and I've been hating him for years.

I get it. Corn Syrup and Corn chips and all the other things I mentioned above that make corn awesome. I mean.. Doritos rock. I'm talking corn kernels here. Those disgusting yellow cysts covered in nature's indigestible plastic husk. Keep them on the cob, thank you very much.

Corn? No. No. No. Corn is like a joke your hairy old uncle tells you, but he forgot why he was telling it and never gets to the punchline. People ruin Mexican food with corn and call it "Southwestern". Stop with the corn. You can eat it off the cob, and you can pop it. You can make masa with it and all the beautiful…

I'm cool if you aren't down with Chicago Pizza. But to suggest, nearly in the same breath, that Chicago Pizza isn't pizza but "Pizza" with white sauce IS pizza. Fuck that fucking shit. That's pizza blasphemy. You want to put whitish slime all over flat bread, that's cool, but you don't get to call it pizza anymore.…

OCD?

Perhaps there is a medical reason for this? Also... no pictures in a public bathroom. Ever.

I remember when I was a kid I was at a circus or carnival or fair or something... anyways... there was a tent set up with gruesome torture devices used in the middle ages (or so they said). One of them was a bottomless cage they would set on a person's stomach. They would place a rat inside the cage, and on top of the…

My 5 lives are already earmarked for Mario, and my share of taxes go to my country's immense war machine, Obummacare, welfare queens, prayer breakfasts at the "White" house, Monsanto, the Koch brothers, some false-flag operation involving airplane contrails, "chemicals" and "toxins", Corrupt-ass police, and this…

This is so true. I'm always cognizant of the old hearing-aid folks in a restaurant. They can hear like fucking bats. Don't say anything rude about them thinking you are out of earshot.

Just to let you know, I earmarked my tax money to pay for this particular guy's pizza, so lay the fuck off. It's paid for, we got it covered.

This is the right way to do it. The friend learns a valuable lesson (Shitty Tip = Pee in your drink) and gets to save face in front of you. If they still give shitty tips after this gentle nudging, then you can safely tell them off because they are a fucking terrible human being.

Leave us alone. Math is hard. Especially when your mind is addled by testosterone.

The overwhelming vast number of child abductions are committed by family members. In fact, the chances of your kid being abducted and hurt by a stranger are so small that you could leave your kid unsupervised in your front yard for nearly 700 years before they would get picked up by a bad guy.

Boy... this is awful close to "School has mock terrorist/gunman attack to prepare students for the real thing". Fuck all of this alarmist reactionary bullshit. Everything from fake-gunman-drills where the students are warned and prepared ahead of time, to this moronic, dangerous, bottom-of-the-barrel ignorant,…

Vegetable chum is the best kind of chum

Next up, how to make a bowl of cereal using a bowl and cereal.

Could this just be that younger, and, therefore, more sexually active folk tend to use emoji more often. I mean.. "Having more sex, Better Orgasms" and "Emoji usage" seem like they are both related to age. Like... They are correlated, but there is no causation here.

It's been a year and a half. I feel obliged to comment from the future. The new iPhone6 came out and it's a freakin phablet, but everyone seems to like it. Also farg nak blag. You'll understand what that means in the future... Lastly, this is now also a properly cited Gizmodo post. fargnak blag, fargnakblag.