Roque

- Stephen King, about a hundred times for some reason.

Damn right!

I’m not opposed to this book as a sequel, but honestly? I think I would have rather read about a teenage Dan Torrance.

Unpopular opinion: Dawn Treader is a pretty damn good adaptation. That doesn’t make it a good movie, it shows pretty clearly that if you adapt a book too closely you will make fans of the book happy but alienate general moviegoing audiences.

Featuring the crime-solving android, SHAFT_4.0 - this time, he really is a sex machine to all the chicks.

Should have listened to Donald Glover.

Young Alfred fucks, kills, eats. Young Alfred is a praying mantis.

I just hope we get an appearance by the jackdaw who’s obsessed with keeping track of how many jokes have been told in Narnia’s history. For those who haven’t read the whole series, yes, that’s a real thing.

These weak blockbusters are setting the stage for spunky crowd favorite The Nightingale to win the summer with its August release! I predict boffo BO for its adventurous, heartwarming tale!

“Molly’s parents are neuralized into blissful ignorance”

They should release season 2 on April 1 next year and just have it be the same 8 episodes again. (And then the next day release the real season 2.)

I genuinely enjoy Dave’s success. He seems very earnest and welcoming. Plus he loves Pittbulls and his mama.

Sounds like I should just rewatch Festival Express...

Also pictured: the only people still laughing at SNL.

“The Assassination of The Glorious Chernobyl Reactor By The Coward Ronald Reagan”.

Turns out the campaign to kill all the animals in the irradiated countryside wasn’t done merely to prevent the spread of the contamination, but also as an attempt to find and kill the American spies Moose and Squirrel.

Patient: Doctor, I am depressed. I am wealthy and talented and beloved but still feel empty inside.

Until we get more specifics, we have no idea how much power Heckerling was exerting in this situation. For all we know, she mentioned in passing that Kattan looked cute, and Lorne took it to the next level.

In addition to the cameos you get to see a bear in its native habitat. A Studebaker.

Putin: “How do we get an agent past their damn security clearence system?”