But is he elite?

I remember Frederic Weiss. As I’m sure Vince does.

Dear Acquaintance,

No, I don’t support reparations at all, because the system that has held them back for so many decades does not do so because they’re descendants of slaves. It does so because they’re dark-skinned. Reparations does nothing to address abuses in the economic system, the legal system, the criminal justice system,…

1,000 children? Shit, Liam Neeson’s going to be very busy. He’s going to need a lot of burner phones for this mission...

Ted Turner hasn’t owned CNN in more than 20 years.

Reparations does not correct a system that unjustly targets blacks. The system doesn’t care if you’re a descendant of African slavery, if you’re a Jamaican immigrant, or a Sudanese refugee. Reparations do nothing for those people...unless we just give every black resident in America the money, in which case, the Catch…

I think you’re choosing to overlook some tremendous downfield coverage on the first down play.

Well, that’s at least two Colombians whose hips don’t lie. 

You might say that perhaps a majority of Americans wouldn’t make this connection because they don’t know what Medicare for All really is or how it would end this.

Mark Grace: “98 strikeouts in 239 at-bats? Kid, you need a slumpbuster.”

What many people don’t realize is he didn’t play much last year as an act of protest, raising critical awareness of widespread tampering among players, agents, and front offices. It’s not the first time he’s done something like this, either. During the first 15 seasons of his career, he protested league policies on…

None of that makes Magic Johnson any smarter. 

I know Magic’s businesses have done really well, but could it be that he’s just pretty stupid?

Yikes. That’s good to know. I was taking this stuff because I wanted to start an electric car company and then drill tunnels under large cities. That must be a different supplement. 

Oh my god, I lived in Tulsa that year...and unfortunately, for many other years. Every Saturday night it was a catalog of which college football record he had broken. It was one of the most surreal experiences in sports, just watching this guy demolish these 50-year-old Byron “Whizzer” White records. 

Not all: Lucy was married to a filthy Cuban.

Jim fucking Inhofe.

“Man, it smells great in here. A little pungent, but great. Is that wing sauce?”

Nothing to add here. Just waiting for his organs to explode.