I’d rather pay for this than Christmas gifts for my niece and nephew.

He probably just needs an oil change and he’ll be good as new!

Does Trump have a public Amazon wist lift? I’d like to order him a fatal aneurysm. Let me know if you want to go in on it with me.

Private insurance will never be phased out. It’s the height of hypocrisy for Bernie Sanders to claim he will abolish it, and that we should, based on health systems worldwide. Saying these countries have what he’s proposing is a bit like “We put a man on the Moon, so Venus is exactly the same thing.” What he’s…

Times sure have changed. In the 1970s, before all this league and sponsor red tape, you could swap all sorts of things with your teammate, even your wives.

What about someone with Cerebral Palsy or Fragile X Syndrome? Or an amputee?

You don’t even acknowledge who the artists are in this case, so I find that difficult to believe. George Merrill and Shannon Rubicam wrote “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” and they, not Whitney Houston’s estate, would receive the payments from BMI.

Unless Whitney wrote the song (she didn’t) or owned the company that published it (don’t believe so), then neither she nor her estate would ever get performance royalties, anyway. Those are just for the writers. That’s who BMI gets the check for. In the case of “Wonderwall,” where Oasis is the artist and Noel…

Oh, now. The city had its chance to upgrade the smallest arena in the NBA and chose not to. Good for them! Owners should have to pay for that stuff. On the other hand, if owners should have to pay for that stuff, they should also get to make other operational decisions. In this case, Schultz decided to sell. He…

Thank you, internet sir or madam.

I think TBS is paying someone $12 million a year for a show that may roughly be doubling that in annual revenues. It was doing $67 million in 2013, when the show was twice as long and when it had three times the audience it does now. His online presence delivers about as many subscribers as John Oliver, but far, far…

Is Conan not getting killed in the ratings, is he not earning $12 million a year on a show that — just due to restricting its duration to 30 minutes — can’t possibly take in more than $25 million a year in revenues? It was doing $67 million in 2013, when it was an hour and when it had three times as many viewers.

You’re going to be so blindsided when someone invests the time to explain to you what a trope is. Also, “Ironic” contains no irony, just bad luck and coincidences.

In the sense that it has made him money, sure, it’s worked out. But at no point since its first month has the show even been competitive. Within the first year it fell behind Chelsea Handler’s show in the ratings; by year five it was behind Larry Wilmore. It hasn’t averaged 500,000 total viewers since. This week, The…

That’s the promotion company hosting the screening. The producers of the film, and the studio releasing it, had nothing to do with that. 

Because it has fewer viewers than Barnwood Builders on the DIY Network? He’s under 350,000 total viewers a week. That is a terrible investment for TBS. He’s getting beaten by Carson Daly, which is on two hours later and stopped producing new shows two months ago.

No, I’m worse than that. I’m a centrist who peddles in late night ironic juxtaposition. CAN YOU IMAGINE?

I’m a giver.

I’m just going to give you a star for this comment to hopefully dig you out of the grays and let others see how tightly you clutch your pearls.