Call me old school.....but here’s a simple solution.

Drive your god damn car!

IMHO, all of these systems are promoting poor driving. Any car that takes over for you is an admission by the car maker that they think you are a shitty driver, and that the car can do better than you.

If you don’t want to drive, that’s fine.…

Honestly, the best first car for a teen is a Volvo 740.

It’d take an anti tank missile to put a dent in the damn thing, the B23F was pretty stout as long as you didn’t overheat it, and if your kid is the clumsy type, they can plow into shit and simply walk away. Depending on what they plowed into, they may be able to…

Mod Motor Guy’s method of shutting down a diesel that’s running away in the shop - grab a C02 Fire Extinguisher and give it hell.

Usually works pretty well.  I’ve seen guys try to snuff ‘em out with rags, and I have seen rags get sucked RIGHT into the engine.  Another guy kept a piece of sheet metal handy that he…

Take a star for the “plate ‘o shrimp” reference. 

As an auto technician, I assure you, whatever them cops were packing was nowhere near enough to fuck the engine up. 9MM will do precisely dick to an engine block or cylinder head.

After all, when someone who means business wants to stop your car, they reach for the 50 cal, and they accept no substitutes! That will go…

I find this comical because the last time I ordered a vehicle, it did not go to plan....

It was 1996. I just saw Twister for the first time, and said god damn it, I’m getting that truck. So I watched the movie a few times, and took note of everything the Twister truck was equipped with. And I went off to the local…

That’s a new one on me. Now I have been asked to sign a document like that when they want to do the “puppy-dog close” where they send you home in the car for the weekend, which I get in that case.

Trip around the block with the salesman that won’t shut the fuck up?  No way, Hoss. 

Screwdriver in the oil filter.

LOVE it.

Here’s a time honored tech secret that someone should have shared with that tech. What causes oil filters to stick is normally the gasket. So, what I do, is take my foot long channel locks and crush the filter to the point that the gasket pulls away from the block.  In essence,…

Yep!

Well, if the shop got struck by lightning and burned to the ground, we could probably argue that one pretty well. LOL!

Let’s hope so!  However, I can tell you, no one in the area thinks too much of Tomball Ford, OR Tomball Dodge. 

It’s funny you mention that. When I worked at the Toyota dealer, it was when the twin turbo Supra was just coming out. I took our demo car for a ride, and said, whoopee, another fast car. Of course, when you grew up with a dad, a stepdad, and ALL of your family building hot cars like 455 powered Cutlass’ and Hi Po 289…

Hahahaha, nope, I swear, I’m as Texan as chicken fried steak.  (Never mind the fact that I now reside in Kansas.) However, believe it or not, that is how I was taught to spell it in school.

Now, my teacher may have been secretly an import, who knows?!?!?!

Thanks, brother! The best part is, my customers know I am a decent person. Excellent example for you...

Last week, I had a ‘02 GMC Yukon in the shop for a full A/C replacement. Well, on that vintage of Yukon, the high pressure cutoff switch is held into the back of the compressor with a snap ring, and they typically…

I get your point, but honestly, to insure every car that comes onto the property for ANY conceivable issue would likely cost a shitload of money.

I don’t like it any more than you do, but we all know how insurance companies work.

Thanks, man! 

Sounds like we’re in the same boat!  Especially since I was a former dealer tech that got fired for telling a customer the truth.  (Thanks, Joe Myers Toyota!) 

Well, I have never had a claim, however, just going off of conventional wisdom with insurance companies led me to type that.

A broad generalization, if you will. 

Thanks, man! 

I can answer this simply.....

If I file a claim, and it’s a good one.....I’m probably either getting cancelled, or my premium is gonna go way up.

The dealership has insurance, a lot more of it than I do simply due to the size of the facility and number of people working there, so their premium is probably well up…