The nachos in my microwave took longer to finish than Rousey’s career tonight.

A $60 teak squatty potty!? Now people who use my bathroom will know I poop in style. They don’t have to know I got it on sale.

A $60 teak squatty potty!? Now people who use my bathroom will know I poop in style. They don’t have to know I got…

Asshole didn’t replace his divot.

Barf Mitzvah

I was thinking the same thing. This guy takes nearly 2 minutes to get on topic. By then, the target audience, most of whom have the attention span of a ferret on a double espresso, have already tuned out. I say it has to be 3 minutes max.

Most people I know would be thrilled to get a letter from the President elect.

Now you know why he carries a sound cone. He couldn’t handle the boom.

David Blaine is a demon. Youtube told me so.

Invested in sharks with lazer beams attached to their fricken heads.

THE GAME-UH

You have to love the ref kicking the shit out of the guy.

“It’s real to me”

Trump’s wall protects America from immigrants AND chemtrails.

Yeah but what about chemtrails AM I RITE

Heil Drumpf!

#MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain

Can we please call him by his real name?

The best way to have $2 million from options trading is to start with $10 million. Even Drumph knows better!

It depends on how you organize your finances. For me, having the cash at the ready instantly is not important. If an emergency arises I’d use a credit card and, for instance, sell my one if my Croatian Railway bonds (just a silly example) by the time the credit card bill arrives. I’d then pay the credit card bill in…