A week or so ago Van Jones came out on Twitter as an Assad supporter, so naturally he’s also okay with the budding tyrant Trump.

The fawning over this speech by the pundits is just vomit inducing. Van Jones just declared Trump’s shout out to the Yemen raid soldier’s widow one of the greatest moments in presidential speech history, and his ticket to being a two term president. I think his exact words were “He became president of the United…

I think the important thing to keep sight of here is that actions speak louder than words. It may be awe-inspiring that Trump can read a fucking teleprompter and sound halfway literate, but no matter what he says, no matter how nice (or at least inoffensive) it sounds, it’s his actions that matter, and one month into…

I would rather give birth to a giraffe.

Yep, I can’t do it. Hearing his voice makes my whole body cringe, and that’s before my brain processes the bullshit he actually said. Going to practice self care and do some yoga instead.

I figure by not watching and instead reading about it tomorrow I can a) not contribute to his ratings, and b) support mainstream media. Tonight my refusal to rage watch shall be resistance!

I know I should listen to this (don’t underestimate the opposition, know your enemy and all that) but I just can’t, and no amount of alcohol could make it tolerable. I’ll have to rely on others who have less of a gag reflex to facile lies to report on what came out of this buffoon’s mouth.

I am deeply, unequivocally done FINISHED hearing his voice. Anymore is sends me into a rage fit. I think for my health I’ll use captions

Taraji is ah-ma-zing.

Taraji of course is on point and so is Ruth Negga. I love Sunny Pawar’s shoes. Perfect for a little boy at his first Oscars rodeo.

Oh. Is the Oscars tonight?

It seems like the easiest way to do it is to use a spouse or family member whose number on a call log wouldn’t arouse suspicion in a three way call.

People are the worst. This is heartbreaking. Haven’t they suffered enough?

According to the story personal phones were checked too, but here’s hoping the leakers are either smart enough to not use a device they carry at work to leak OR they’re super thorough about covering their tracks (deleting certain messaging apps between uses, erasing text messages and call logs as soon as they send…

She’s the Spicer that Spicer could only ever dream of being. The platonic ideal of Sean Spicer. And she mastered that in her spare time, for fun.

Oh, they’ll try. But here’s the difference between Stalin and Hitler and Trump. Stalin had to deal with Russians. Hitler had to deal with Germans. Trump has to deal with Americans.

Well sure, you’d have to be a pretty big dumbass to use your government-issued phone for ya leaking.

I’m submitting a revolutionary design comprised almost entirely of pipe cleaners and tissue paper. It’ll be a breakthrough!

So how long until we get to the Stalin-esque purges? Clearly the comms group is going to be the first to go.