I’m trying to be optimistic, but when my mother (a nurse) read last night’s Jezebel account of what happened to Carrie Fisher, she didn’t think it looked good.

Agreed, I prefer my favorite internet wordsmiths to be wholly 1-dimensional and not let their interests, politics or personality get in the way of the motoring news that is so vital to my very exsistence. It personally offends me on a deeply emotional level when anything other than quarter mile times, peak-horsepower…

Oh, as soon as I read his fucking name I was like “oh OF COURSE.” Good thing nobody is at the office today to hear my indignant chortles.

I hope they do “Springtime for Hitler.”

Everyone is entitled to her own political beliefs, but there is no room for this in the workplace.

Wait, James Dolan is behind this? That can’t be, dude is class made manifest in human form.

Hollywood is especially tough on our Asian American actors and actresses. It’s really unfair.

Color me unsurprised.

I think you mean “LycoPEEN.”

Liar Liar Tentacles On Fire

Shouldn’t it be a lemon?

Pink Pineapple is already the name of a Japanese hentai anime producer that I totally didn’t already know off the top of my head.

Oh this totally makes up for Hillary losing, I’m fine now.

private Italian lessons from women he found through Craigslist postings is such a long euphemism

But Obama said he could keep his doctor! THANKS OBAMA

I think you’re right, but you know how Donald feels about tradition. Also, real doctors might tell him things that he doesn’t want to hear, such as that he should change his lifestyle in order to remain healthy. I don’t honestly think that this guy is going to follow him to the White House, but I do like his attitude!

“the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency”

a 70 year old man who doesn’t exercise and eats only fast food is in bad physical health, you say? I’d never!

It’s like all the rest of us, no? That’s why we have a vice president and a speaker of the House and a whole line of people. They can just keep dying.