Damn, Plok drove me crazy.

Screw all you hippies - *I* wanted this.

They dropped a piece of Nintendium a thousand feet? What kind of damage did the ground take?

Admittedly true. That said, if there’s one thing lacking around Trump, it’s loyalty.

I will piss myself laughing if Kushner turns out to be the one who sells Trump up the river.

I haven’t seen this many shoes about to drop since a shelf started to tip at Payless.

I was hoping for this response.

I just want to tattoo “Carlos Danger” into his face, so that everyone can see it, and so that he has a permanent reminder of what he’s done.

It’s short for “Hunter S. Thompson is the greatest of all time.”

Well, what profit a man to gain the world if he loses his own soul in The Process? Because if I forced myself to watch the godawful product that Hinkie vomited onto a roster sheet on the dice roll that it would pay off in the future, I think I might’ve lost mine.

Right now, someone at Hormel is reading this and going “Come on! That’s not fair to us - he’s more like Treet, Armour’s knockoff of our Spam.”

New Hampshire is where all the east coast people with hard-ons for Ayn Rand go to attempt to live out their dreams of becoming rugged individualists. None of this sequence surprises me.

You know the pickings are slim when one of the nominees is dead for over a year before the series even starts.

If the world is a game of Diplomacy, 45 is playing Magic: the Gathering, and loading up on Red.

I mean, boil it all down, and it’s still “sit in an enclosed space and solve puzzles for an hour.” If you’re splitting hairs on the size of the room, you’re missig the Lost Woods for the Deku Shrubs.

Teenage me thought Kathy Ireland was hot, and thus watched Alien From L.A. in its non-MST3K form.

Oh, so someone with degrees and published research needs to be met with skepticism, but we should take your random ass at their word? Why?

The flip side is, most women would think a guy resorting to this isn’t a keeper.

Too many people have seen cliche anime and gone “we should do that as a service for guys at amusement parks!”

Man, this makes me feel better about when I played Poirot in a vastly less prominent production.