You can’t go to war in the new tens without appropriately volumized pigtails.

Well, maybe just for the “Pink Elephants On Parade” sequence.

Well... maybe closer to Spaceball One.

Sean Spicer’s days are numbered.

Get me a lawyer; I’m going to sue Fox News into oblivion.

At least we know he’s not going to perjure himself. He must not tell lies, after all.

Outing someone isn’t illegal, sure, but it’s still a shitty thing to do, and you’re still blaming the victim. Doesn’t matter what the victim did - they don’t deserve it.

Of course he wants the expensive option. He doesn’t care about wasting American tax dollars. Like he’s going to give two shits about British taxpayers.

So you’re saying that Smith had it coming for signing up for a reality show?

What else is going to protect you when a pit fiend emerges from the Disco Inferno?

The Catholic Church objected when they discovered that yoga practitioners could breathe fire, teleport, and stretch their limbs by 20 feet.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I thank God every time I’m involved in a beej, either position.

There’s a certain level of oblivious sociopathy needed to procure drugs for a death sentence under false pretenses.

I’m almost impressed. Most presidents have to go to war to figure out how to kill millions.

I wonder why they will nut say where on the lower body the injury was.

Remember when it was awful for Obama to nominate a Supreme Court justice or do an airstrike on Syria?

It’s only called Teen Vogue because lots of sellers balked at the new proposed title, Beautifully Fucking Savage.

“I’ll take something out on my significant other, even though he has absolutely no control over it.”

I always kinda suspected.

Well, now we really know what’s in Gold Roger’s famed One Piece, don’t we?