“Look it up: Edison was a dick!”

Musk is Thomas Edison if Edison never actually designed or engineered anything

Hey guys am I doing this right

Also add in crushing boredom for long stretches of time, punctuated suddenly and unexpectedly by short bursts of mortal peril.

And here I was thinking the military method of falling asleep anywhere was wake up before dawn, run until your CO pukes, and get back to your bunk 3 hours before dawn.

From my worst boss. An email. He forwarded an email chain without reading the entire thread. Apparently he referred to someone as an asshole earlier in the thread and that person was on the the forwarded email chain.

“Cam Newton is waaaay overrated. Google his lifetime stats. 58.5% lifetime completion percentage”

This may be the best description of Charlotte that I have ever read.

Biakabutuka. Man, I always remember thinking, “This is going to be his year.” Dude would break out a 50-yard run on one play, and then break his leg on the next play. Dude was more fragile than the leg lamp from A Christmas Story.

“Return to Relevance" could also be the slogan for Nazis and other white supremacists since that orange turd won the election.

What are they going to do when it snows?

That’s some good hospitality right there.

I’m legit laughing out loud.  Thank you for this.

This is why I leave my cat at home.  Because that’s where my cat is safest.  You never see reports of cats left in hot cars, since cats are smart enough to stay home.  “Wanna go to the park Fluffy?” will always be met with blank stares and turning of cat butts towards you.

Waiter: Would you like some pepper, Mr. West?

To be fair, that play gets probably 5 more yards than it would have were another safety on the field...

The only things you need to know about the Washington No-Names:

Skins fan here (ugggggggh) - going off memory (so could be completely mis-remembering this) but if I recall Gibbs wasn’t so much upset with the tribute as with the fact that the DC did it completely on his own without telling anyone.

They are a meeting ground for fucking pigs, and nothing more.

Su’a will not be permitted to return to the club for the remainder of the 2017 NFL season, including the postseason.