The only thing worse than an adult man that brings a glove to a baseball game is an adult man that brings a glove to a baseball game and doesn’t know how to operate a baseball glove.

24c Where’s your portable USB charger?

I have employed this phrase since 2001 - my first “vacation” as parent. If your kids are with you and/or you’re visiting relatives it is a trip. A vacation means a temporary break from ALL your responsibilities.

Get off my lawn.

I think most of us earned $28 while reading this article.

Shit, I knew it. Should’ve learned from Mitt Romney.

Oh, you’re going to Hilton Head, too?

I gave my daughter the not-yelling but still firm “You’re not a baby anymore. You’re a big girl. Act like it.”

24 Where’s your damn Kindle?

You forgot one:

Leave your brother alone dammit

I’m already dreading my upcoming beach excursion with the missus. Look, lady, I know you like eating out on vacation, but every restaurant in this god forsaken town smells like dead fish and a grease trap that hasn’t been emptied in two decades.

My dad put an end to all family vacations 14 years ago. He’d make the threat that “this is the last vacation we ever take as a family” during every vacation we ever took and no one ever thought he’d ever follow through with it. Used to think he was an asshole for putting an end to it, but I get it now. We used to take…

I just wanna hear about all his trips to Ocean City, MD.

3-1 odds all of the Margery family trips are up to one of the various forests in northern Minnesota.

This is the LAST time we’re going to the beach!

There may be eight places, but he’ll still come in 69.

My grandma said that she and many others would chew on tar during the Depression.

My grandfather would pull off pieces of tar from newly made or freshly repaired roads and chew on them. It’s cheaper than gum. Can we add this for part two?

I forgot to send in that my grandpa used to take a glass of milk and fill it with popped popcorn. Little known fact, you can fill a glass of milk with popped corn and it won’t overflow but a glass of water will.