I disagree, these teams shouldn’t be suspeneded, they should be made to battle royale on the diamond.

The Army hasn’t seen a leap like that since it rolled into Iraq searching for WMDs.

-1 year of Premier League competition

“Big fucking deal. I used to call that a good Tuesday.”

So she ate a burrito at Chipotle, big deal.

I like the guy in the cell phone video tweet saying “strikeout number 20" with all the raging enthusiasm of someone who just found an Olive Garden coupon in their mailbox.

Trump killed the USFL.

.

I did the same and even parlayed it into sex by saying how great it’d be to have such a cute kid. Jokes on her though, after years of treating my body like a truck stop toilet, my boys have the mobility of Andy Reid trying to run through a pool of sand.

Will someone just give this girl her own Disney show already. Preferably one with a hot nanny dressed in clothes not even remotely appropriate for a kids show. So basically a normal Disney kids show.

Hahahahahaha Riley Curry is coming for Oprah’s throne. Believe it.

Last night my sports-hating wife specifically stayed up to watch post-game TV with me, because I told her Riley Curry might make an appearance.

it’s like I always say - been 5 years in a row, never seen a horse.

only two more weeks until the best day of the year!

So you are saying you are willing to vote for evil?

you can't spell fun without an F and a U, bro.

At least the Maryland bros can actually fight. These sorry shits are pathetic.

To paraphrase:

But how do you feel about credit unions?

God damn you for reminding me of those.