She’s not speaking to voters.  She’s speaking to donors.  

You will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER find a perfect candidate to be the Democratic nominee for President in time for 2020.

I’ve often thought it would be cool to have a video game where the character you’re controlling becomes self-aware and can act contrary to your commands, and the only way to stay in sync is to get the character to “trust” you by successfully getting them out of dangerous situations.

Amazon warehouse employees: they’re going to end your job anyway within a few years, so just start breaking stuff. They bought your broke ass, wrung it until you had no more to give, then threw you away like a dirty cum rag. That number doesn’t deserve to be higher next year.

Tim Cook could unveil a new iPhone that shoots a weak microwave signal directly at the President’s head from anywhere on Earth. People would buy billions of them just to see how many active phones it would take to make him explode.

Give the rangers guns.

And much like Trump steaks, Trump University and Trump Taj Mahal before it, America is failing and it’s all Trump’s fault.

I think the director understood the source material. He just loved it too much to change any of it except make everyone speak English even though they’re in Japan, and hire Scarllettt Johhannnsssssonn [sic].

Just imagine if Zack Snyder was really into anime instead of Frank Miller, and THAT’S what happened.

You just conflated two different issues. Hollywood (and other areas) need to start giving storytellers from different background “The Chance” because they will bring a new perspective and new ideas to any medium. The Abrams adaptation is doing that, apparently perfectly, with input from the original creators:…

Well, banks will loan people money is what!

Why did they have to just call it “Hellboy”?  If any franchise can provide great sequel names, it’s Hellboy.  Darkness Calls?  Storm and Fury?  I’d see a movie just named either of those.

Semi-related sidenote: The Rock’s wrestling persona’s signature line was “Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?” and it turns out what he was cooking was croquembouche, and his character was a pastry chef.

There are SO MANY incredibly popular hot potato issues the Democrats could make big dumb grandstanding votes on in 2019. Campaign finance reform. The DREAM Act, no riders. TAKING CANNABIS AND HALLUCINOGENS OFF SCHEDULE 1.

Eh, everyone’s got priorities. I place global warming solutions and environmentalism way higher on my list of issues I vote on than immigration.

I’m going to take a different tack and say it goes way back to Puritans and their “Protestant work ethic,” which meant working hard is good, and feeling good is bad and sinful and will send you to hell.

Hi, my real name is Jennifer Lawrence, and I think making it illegal for members of Congress to lie to the American public is totally hot.

Liam Neesons DESERVES all the awards. He trained the Batmans.

“Hamburger” is short for “hamburger meat,” AKA the ground beef from Hamburg. When you order a hamburger, you’re ordering the short version of a “hamburger meat sandwich”.

The Culinary Institute of America lists a sandwich as ANY handheld food including a carbohydrate and a filling/topping, that you hold by the carb.