Nice try, Samer, but you're totally wrong. Elkington can't be my uncle. Unlike Steve, my uncle has already died from cirrhosis of the liver.

.

On the other hand Pedro Martinez's wank bank is obviously not NSFW at all, as it's just a collection of photos of arroz con pollo, meat lover's pizzas, and partially-gnawed sticks of butter.

e. Saw American Hustle. Then I wrote one of my columns for which they're paying me millions of dollars.

And now, two incredible bullet points from Peter King's latest column:

I, for one, think it's great that the fans didn't look at him and see a really shitty player who's gay. They just saw a really shitty player.

I haven't seen someone so excited to about riding a big dick in public since Paul Ryan agreed to run for Vice President.

Damnit Barry, your GIF had me convinced that Hockey Simulator 3000 was finally created.

161. Andy Carroll

Give Danica a break. That was the first time she ever saw someone in her rearview mirror.

wat

Proud of you Jennifer. Don't listen to the assholes. This is how progress is made. Two steps forward, then a hesitant shuffle to the side, and then WHAM, three steps backwards through the air.

Nothing gets by you.

[looks across the bar]

I'd keep him on the roster. It's rare to find a player who can go out and give you 21-21-21 every night.

Even if you don't like Don Cherry, you gotta love this...

People who care about the TRUTH.

"Awww, OMG, look at that little guy! He's so darn cute! Is he flying with you?"

Rec'ing this because it really does have this, and it is awesome.

Geez, judging from his picture, Drew wasn't kidding when he said he used to be A LOT heavier when he was younger.