50lbs of force is nothing for an angry and uncomfortable pregnant woman

That’s actually rather good. Did you use a model for this?

Delicious and nutritious (bonus points if you can spell nutritious without spellcheck)

Not if it’s breakfast:

I have the same gait when I have to poop.

Thanks but my drawings are already photo-realistic

There’s been some awesome American stories so far (Ledecky, Biles, Manuel, etc) and yet, Phelps adding to his country-of-his-own medal count and teabagging Le Clos in one race after another still is tops.

Ray Lewis is responsible for extending Michael Phelps’s career by eight years.

Goddammit.

-M’s fans, every fucking day

If you think progressing to the next round of the Europa League is saving their season, you're retarded.

I hate Berman, but this is my signature golf move and I fully support it.

Especially when crushing puss.

When I think of those who are fighting, this poem comes to mind, and I share it with them, in hopes that it will give them strength:

I just can’t believe it. It cuts to my core and makes me sad. Gutted is the only adjective.

Just gutted in a way I haven’t been in ages.

Jim Tomsula getting the Giants job would be the “best” thing in the world.

Jeffrey Luhnow...didn’t change his password.

That’s not hacking. That’s logging in using a password.

So you’re telling me there’s no season-long commitment?