Not with Chip Kelly, they aren’t.

Are we ruling out the possibility that he’s secretly sworn to the Dallas Cowboys, though?

Kylo is a better Anakin than Anakin was.

What flavor smoothie did he order? Because that is how I judge a man.

Way to spoil the surprise for your nephew, James. Now he knows exactly what kind of institutional racism is in store for him.

“How do I feel? I feel like they pulled the old switcharoo!”

Christ, Harvard really is insufferable in every imaginable way.

You’ve come up with a valid hypothesis based on the evidence presented, but I think you’re making a very dangerous assumption here:

I can go a whole week on two pairs of pants, provided I don’t shart myself in both of them.

Whoever is telling you that is a liar and you should cease contact with them.

You’re shit and you know you are

I love the Ewoks. Judge me. I don’t care.

We shall put you in charge immediately. I assume I am fired? I’ll pack my things. It was nice briefly working for you.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; if you are receiving emails from someone who still has not removed the “sent from ________ device” auto signature, bail.

Belichick also denied it, but by now we all know he's a chronic liar.

“We want the ball and dinner before 5:00 p.m.!”

Lighten up, Francis.

+1

Also, if you want to stop wasting your time/life, these simply cannot be beat. God bless the Great Pacific Northwest.

Same.