What did Jeter ever do to you?

and vodka

The Pirates couldn't have made two sadder outs than these? Barry, you clearly didn't attend any Pirate games from 1980-2013.

I'm not going to do a ton of research here, but are did you check to see if "consent" in the context of the sexual performance law is defined the same as "consent" for statutory rape in MN. Imma gonna guess it's not.

Everyone knows Pontuacs are the preferred cars of child molesters everywhere. Duh.

its 80 and sunny here today

This is all part of ManU's campaign to convince us last year never happened.

No you dont

Meanwhile, Charlie Steiner is left hawking old ESPN tapes and horse racing tips at Hialeah.

Hey for $60, you got a bargain

You know, the other day, I was thinking to myself, "Self, we need more lawyers on Deadspin."

Welcome backish

Ray Rice is like my third favorite wife beater

I may be going out on a limb here, but I kinda get the feeling the NCAA doesn't really care about academics. Is it just me?

Oh yeah baby

Oh yeah baby

Thanks for sharing!

I don't need all the scores but if something interesting is happening (Bartolo Colon is fat and has bad hair but is perfect through six against the worst offense ever assembled), well I'd like to know about that. Maybe add a catchy jingle, too (not really).

Please don't ever say or write shiznickle again

Fuck you, Drew. SVB is the best show, evar.