He can't sign until after next year

Actually no. Betting heads on 162 coin flips pays even money (forward looking). Betting on baseball doesn't because Vegas manipulates the line just enough to make you think you are making a good bet. I'll take even money and a little bit of luck every time.

the pitcher had good stuff last night, the batters sprayed it around the infield and had a few dribblers up the middle

Let's just hope he pays his taxes

Which one is badder?

Seager had a terrible first week, maybe this will be a slump ender...

Hold up. I never gave the pipe to no bitch named Whomever. -JR Smith

The Machine can still knock the leather off of balls.

I'm Joe Biden, and I approve this post. I've already asked Barack to pardon this fine young American.

Fred Phelps: dead
AJ: not dead

Not as bad as sloppy seconds with Bernie Fine's wife, but yeah, sloppy.

I prefer "Duke Bites" myself. Timeless, Classy, Sexy. -Marv

alternative joke: looks like the Brewers played in Cleveland last night.

Detroit had a similar pizza-stained shirt for Prince Fielder a few years back.

I'm sure your best wishes will comfort Freddy Galvis as he spends the next two weeks with a tube up his ass.

"I'm on a plain, and I can't complain," sang Kurt Cobain. Except for the Hole in his head, of course.

This is great news - the Phillies haven't played infectious baseball for a couple of years now.

Duke pOwn-star

"Earlier, we learned an old photograph of George Brett inspired her song Royals"