People are shitty

You know what's more "mean" than that bill?

"The cure for cancer lies in switching back to the gold standard".

RIIIICOLAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

That's next week's David S. Pumpkins article…

I once had a nightmare wherein Samuel L. Jackson was chasing me around a Walmart like in a slasher movie. The twist—he was dressed like a postwoman with a red, curly wig.

New tracks from R.Kelly's album, Protégées

I just lost a game of words with friends to the word "chintz" so you just triggered me.

Reminds me of watching Giad Di Laurentis's show when I was 16. Every time she bent down to put something in the oven… Then Ina Garten came on, and boy can that woman cook! It was a confusing hour of cooking programmes.

Remember when people used MySpace and they put songs on their pages?

Chance also saved 3000 jobs in a plant in Indiana. All with one phone call.

Wreck-it-Ralph: Breaking Tron Pt 1

Maybe he's being cyber-bullied (your brother not the cat), and the cat feels helpless and impotent.

Great… the channel that gave the world Sex Box and that one with naked people dating is going to modernize a beloved show, minus its only popular characters (I like Hollywood if it's a choice between him and watching Guy Fieri eye-fuck a chili dog). My British wife only has two things in the world she loves, and now…

To be fair, they only get pissy when I try to pay with a roll of dry cleaning receipts wrapped in a couple $1 bills.

It's crazy because that's exactly how I walk when I'm getting attacked by bees and/or on meth.

wee-wee

Why does Trump have RSDF (resting sad duck face)?

Oh… That's what a vagina looks like…

I used to just hate them because they thought their state was the best (because they clearly hadn't been to Hawaii) and because they celebrated the Alamo — which shouldn't be celebrated by anyone other than David Duke.