I used to hear my mom scream that during Cheers…

Johnie Quest's evil, alternate universe doppelgänger!

I'll use the term because it indicates a false relationship, wherein the romantically attracted person takes up a platonic relationship with the person who isn't interested (unbeknownst to them the other's true affection). This leaves a situation where clarity would have spared a lot of heartache and awkwardness. So…

Nothing deflects like the n-word. Trust me, I'm black.

There are plenty of women with kids who are on the market. Also, there are plenty of women who are fine with kids. That really sucks, but you just gotta keep that head up.

Damn… Sadly, in my experience, shit just never worked out after all was said and un-done. My ex and I were so incompatible that I actually lost interest in sex for a long time — which never got better. How important this issue will be to the success of your relationship depends on how important sex is to you, I guess.…

So you're telling me that a human vagina doesn't look like Neo's mouth in that scene from The Matrix?

I'd ask her to have a bite or a coffee right after class. Putting yourself out there is stressful, but the stakes are low otherwise. Also, be careful to prevent friend-zoning. I used to make jokes at little pre-dates about how I wanted to get together again, "as a date though—I don't want you getting the wrong idea!"

Maybe everyone but LW was standing still, staring at her blankly.

You didn't get them digits though???

True, and I could go mad trying to comprehend a kink, but the incest angle is interesting. Must have been sparked by the Lannisters.

You're totally going to do it, it'll be fun, and there may be consequences. If the guy complains, just say something really racist to get the attention off of what you've done.

Nothing but suckin', fuckin', and deduct-kin'!

Did you go to Kanye's express show?

I could imagine girls dating his sons just for a crack at daddy. That's probably why all they do is hunt ghosts and go to person-centered therapy sessions.

Tell that fool to get back to depreciating your assets!

I like my ladies like I like my 1040s — EZ.

Or a Ja Rule show where you wish he didn't show up at all.

So excited! Special Guests are my fave!!!

I guess he took pains to keep them ugly so they couldn't challenge their old man.