A kid who was late to my class once said that he was helping someone out of a burning building. I laughed and told him to take a seat. You have to begrudgingly admire someone with the chutzpah to try to pull off such a dumb and blatantly made up excuse.

Been there!

YOU LIVE HERE, TOO!

My brother and his (then) wife were already in town for our wedding. They were staying in the same hotel as my parents and my sister and all the other wedding guests. Come the wedding, though, they were a no-show and had checked out of the hotel. Asked for an explanation, he said "I forgot where the wedding was taking…

One time a boy I liked in high school told me he couldn't hang out with me because he had just gotten his hair cut. I texted him about hanging out in the early afternoon, inviting him to hang out with me and my friends that night (I think I texted him at 2 PMish to ask if he wanted to chill at 7 PMish). He told me he…

My absolute FAVORITE excuse in high school was that I was having "feminine issues." Worked like a charm on our 50 years old-ish male former jock type Dean of Students! I loved watching his face everytime I dead-panned that bogus excuse for cutting class.

My husband's excuse for not putting away the dishes out of the dishwasher: "I don't know where they go."

I had a roommate who was supposed to go to a going away party for someone she didn't particularly give a shit about, so the excuse she gave? "I have to wash my sneakers."

I tried to call in "ugly"once. I told my boss I had a cold sore that went wild and my face look very, well, damaged and, as the front desk person, I thought I should stay home. He had me come in any way, took one at look at me, and conceded that, yes, maybe I could have the day off.

Yeah, just gonna chill here until Italy decides to prosecute her again, either for this or something else.

That dress is LOVELY. Great cut.

Don't forget purple ketchup

I went to a boat wedding. My god parent's daughter got married. Not because she wanted to be married for forever, but because she heard the clock ticking. Anyways, princess got married and her maid of honor went CRAYZAY on the dance floor. And when I say CRAYZAY I mean she went so hard she just a jump with one leg in…

My freaking AUNT (not the mother of the bride) wore white to my cousin's wedding. Like, how are you not old enough to know better? I gave her so much side-eye.

Maybe she could just carve out some time for pooping? That seems like the biggest problem of all, I can't imagine.

I'm going to be in the minority and say I think it's probably basically real, and it may be impossible to figure out who it is because we have no idea what details she changed — like, she might be a model and not a singer. But the basic tone feels plausible to me.

What if you've been invited to Solange's wedding and she asks you to wear white? Do you wear black to ensure everyone knows you're definitely not a virgin?

My husband's parents' friend wore white to our wedding, and I did not care or say anything, but was mainly smirking the whole time like "GIRL HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS"