When I was in Sudan, a friend took me to a restaurant that specialized in camel. Their house dish was raw sliced camel liver, which of course I ate. I was reluctant to post this, because it wasn't gross at all, and I'm kind of disgruntled at calling anyone's food "gross,".

I agree that midi skirts are gorgeous things - I'm tall but it's all legs, so things meant to be knee-length on me tend to border on mini, and anything shorter than actual knee-length looks a starts looking provocative very quickly. I'm also so glad everyone's commenting on that seam, I thought I had something on my…

This is so weird to me, because I remember this ad perfectly, so it feels like it aired yesterday, but the styling is so off from anything you'd see today that it might as well be a tintype.

These recent ad campaigns make me think that the whole job of pitching an ad concept is to say literally any 2- or 3-word phrase in that specific Don Draper tone of voice, after which the company executives will literally trip over their own tongues to offer you wodges of cash. I'm sorry, but how does "Spring is…

My metaphor is a fanfic of someone else's original work-metaphor - someone downthread said something about schadenfreude tasting like tiramisu, and for some reason it just really stuck.

I just don't understand - shouldn't it just be an industrial-sized vat of concealer, to help ladies perfect their "I just ran into a doorknob!" routine once the fucking psychopath abuser they've been idolizing gets bored with the silk neckties and just starts smacking them around for minor offenses? Because that's the…

Why isn't this the header picture for every Jez article on this topic?

I will seriously paypal you $20 right now if, during whatever counts for the emotional/plot climax of this film (your best guess as to what that is) you promise to loudly hoot with derisive laughter for at least 10 seconds.

The many levels of undeserved good fortune E.L. James got for straining out a shitty fanfic of a shitty book while other more-deserving fic writers are crafting fucking masterpieces in either obscurity or with high potential for derision is the coffee-soaked ladyfinger base of my delicious schadenfreude tiramisu while…

I can think of about 20 talented, thoughful fic authors across like 10 fandoms who are well-deserving of having their stuff translated to film, with all the money and recognition that comes with it. It really grates my cheese that they had to chip away the splinters at the bottom of the barrel to raise this, of all…

Except that 50 Shades isn't a "ripoff," it's a transformative work. The actual storyline of the original fanfiction bore no relation to the plot of Twilight, it was what the fanfic world calls an AU (alternate universe). The only things the fanfic had in common with the source material was the names of the main…

In fact, my voracious reading of turn-of-the-last-century British children's literature indicates that little boys wore short trousers ALL THE TIME, including times when I would consider it totally inappropriate. The illustrations in my Swallows & Amazons book series shows little boys all bundled up for snowy weather…

I went to college with a girl who had two baby toes on each foot. And not like, this baby's massive toes, just two of her toes had clearly not grown since she was a few months old. Obviously I never said anything about it (I mean OBVIOUSLY) but I will also never ever forget how weird it was.

1. How do you cover up zits that aren't like, little teenaged whitehead pimples? Because I'm almost 30, and I almost always have one single solitary massive cyst going, usually on my chin but recently also between my eyebrows. I've watched a lot of videos but they things they recommend never work at all on blemishes…

Nope. No. No way.

We're from the same genetic stock then. I once got a $350 Betsey Johnson dress - tags still on - for $70 on eBay to wear to a wedding (not my own). I was worried about fit because I'd never bought that brand, and I was in Africa until 2 days before the event, so if something went wrong I was kind of out of options.…

You should definitely feel complimented. I often see how much trouble other women have going through life - harassment on the subway, insistent dicks at parties, what have you - and attribute the general ease with which I go about my business to being 6 feet tall and looking like I could give you a problem if I wanted…

I want to be friends with Erin. It'd be super weird, because we have the same body type, same perpetually-really-angry look (one half-step up from Common Resting Bitch Face) and um. The same name. But I am very friendly, make mean bloody marys, and you can raid my closet if I can raid yours.

I'm nowhere close to getting married, but I've spent enough time already on this earth mall shopping with my mother (in the grown-women's section from the time I was 12, in sizes up to 14 petite when I've been a size 6 tall since I stopped growing, and everything, EVERYTHING, in olive green or mustard yellow) to want…

Are you my sister? I'm almost 30, but I still have nightmares of going clothes-shopping with my mom, when everything came from the women's section from the time I was 12, ALL in shades of olive and mustard, and with no regard to actual sizes (for reference, I'm a size 6 tall - when I was living at home, my mom more…