I recently had to stop talking to a friend of mine who was shocked and heartbroken when her mom’s cat stopped coming home one day. I was 100% done after the second conversation about looking for this cat, when YOU WERE THE ONE who let this 12-pound animal out to roam in a world with accidents, sickness, cars, cruel…

For stuff for their residence, sure - but for stuff in the public floors of the White House, there’s a public and historical good being preserved that seems to justify putting government money into it.

Just so we’re clear, a new president does NOT have carte blanche to redecorate the White House. Even spending money on basic upkeep is a huge issue - it was so controversial to spend the money for the hugely-necessary Kennedy renovation that Jackie agreed to participate in a whole tv special afterwards to make it…

I actually got a girl in college to drop out of a philosophy class where this came up and she just would. Not. Admit this and I would. Not. Let it go.

Boy to have a time machine to go back and just bite down. Hard.

It’s so nakedly backwards I can’t even cope. Monica Lewinsky had sex she states was consensual, and 20 years later she’s “destroyed/a ghoul” and deserves our sympathy. Emma Sulkowicz is assaulted in her own bedroom, and 2 years later is “not evolving” and deserves our scorn?

So Monica Lewinsky was innocent and helpless in her interactions with her boss at her job which she herself characterized as consensual, but Emma Sulkowicz, a student trying to get an education who was assaulted in her bedroom, should stop worrying about it and move on from her “mattress feminism?”

This is apparently the new tactic - there’s too many cameras around if you just gun them down in the street (although in a pinch that’ll do, it’s messy but it has no effect on one’s career). It’s simpler and cleaner to just bring people in on a simple charge and murder them in the security and comfort of your own…

The existence of the Reuben preordains that 2) is the relevant factor here.

When people pull bullshit like that, you are allowed, nay obligated, to kick them in the fucking shins.

Every time he was onscreen in Cabin in the Woods, I referred to him as “Physically Perfect Human Jesse Williams”

Sometimes, I wake up from napping on the couch to find my cat has decided that my sleeping form is the perfect perch for her dainty behind. I’ve found her cuddled in the curve of my hip, and once, memorably, with her entire fuzzy body squished in the space between my ear and my shoulder. I reacted much like that rhino.

This is the hardest version of all for this game.

I’m filled with loathing for anyone whose campaign platform can be summed up with “take a shit out of my mouth and then STAND BY IT come hell or high water.”

The fact that Obama has taken the decades-long clusterfuck of Iran and mitigated it in any way - not solved, but mitigated where no one else in DECADES has made a move at all in any direction - is such a real-world victory. It must really sting those whose rhetoric over the last 7 years has been that Obama isn’t…

I think it’s just that now it’s a story every time it happens - because it’s happened in enough high-profile cases in enough different places that even those who would normally remain ignorant (counting myself among them) are suspicious of the pattern and want to know every time this happens. News is a business, and…

I want to go to one! I have super-itchy dry skin on my legs, such that shaving is torture, but not shaving and wearing pants is just as bad. I’ve given myself massive long scratches by accident. If I scratch during a bath, I get rolls under my fingernails of the clay-like dead skin the author talked about in the…

So I made essentially this comment minus the “dude” part on a Gawker article about this, and let me share with you the views of the anti-abortion Gawker commentariat crowd are, in hopes of bringing you into the light of pure reason:

You can add this to the growing list of Things I Physically Could Not Care Less About. Right under Benghazi and Hilary’s E-Mail Sitch.

This is exactly what happens: there is a level of strictness in parenting that is just unbearable to live under. I don’t mean mommy and daddy meanly take away your video games for a week because you flunked a test - I mean parents who take away every possible thing of enjoyment, not even as punishment, but as…