Lol, that was my feeling when I found my first grey hair (literally THE WEEK after I turned 19). I had always thought I'd never dye my hair, and I held out a few years to make sure I wasn't going to get a Susan Sontag stripe, but I've been a no-holds-barred fire-engine redhead for a few years now & I'm never going…

I support you in your endeavors, but have you considered a comfy orthopedic brace?

That's why I wind up marathoning so much TV on Netflix. That split-second where I catch my reflection in the black screen is too much to bear.

I just found my first forehead wrinkle the other day! Twinsies!

AM I TALKING REALLY LOUD? I FEEL LIKE I'M TALKING REALLY LOUD. SORRY, I WAS JUST LISTENING TO CARRIE BROWNSTEIN AND HER AWESOMENESS BLEW OUT MY EARDRUMS.

When I was living in Sudan, basically the only thing I missed was food (you can make new friends and a Skype date once a week is enough family, frankly, but you can't replace one beloved type of food with a new one). The thing I missed MOST bar none was Popeye's chicken, followed closely by All Mexican Food. In fact,…

The real question is, can I STOP imagining cookie pasta? The answer is no, no I cannot, my life is a hollow sphere filled only with visions of cookie pasta.

I want to stress that what I said is not an endorsement of said song. It's been known to make me almost crash my car in my haste to change the channel.

Speculoos isn't a brand, it's a type of Dutch cookie, so that's just the flavor it comes in. If you don't like it I think the other chocolate cookie core ice cream is the one for you.

Is there a Le Pain Quotidien chain near you? They used to sell cookie butter in jars at the one I went to (in Dutch it's called SPECULOOSPASTA, is that not fucking delightful?)

In Czech Republic, they sell speculoos flavored drinks. I spent a long bus journey once with my also-American boyfriend trying to figure out what the hell we were tasting. It's great, but super-odd if you're not expecting it.

IT'S STILL GOOD also I am having Popeye's for dinner now that you've reminded me it exists.

Bey must be getting above her station for so many people to be taking aim.

As long as it keeps these tits from talking about abortion, I'm all for them wasting their time allotment on shit that doesn't matter.

At least in porn everybody (pretends to) come. That's a good model for future endeavors! Point: porn.

Right? The only dog-related news I remember from that election was Mitt Romney's. I must know more.

Even doctors like to make a buck while they're on vacation from their actual jobs, I guess.

I was and I did, albeit tangentially (queer New York 1990's).

Or the owner of a radio, apparently. It's okay, grandpa, 1989 will be coming to wax cylinder any day now, fire up the phonograph!

While I think food is pretty much the lowest-possible rung of the cultural appropriation ladder, I would consider it in bad taste. Not all offenses are equal.