Not even just “There’s alien plankton on Europa” alien sightings. Aliens are going to have to show up and date a celebrity or something to top this.

Make America Grope Again.

He’s literally never played the OF in his MLB career: http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/w/walkene01.shtml#standard_fielding::none

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE beat the Giants.

I am a Mets fan and I am amazed we made it this far with all the injuries they have had.

capable outfielder Neil Walker

Yours in worship,

Bartolo Colon

Why not to root for the Mets:

so thats what a seventh degree burn looks like...

There’s no doubt in my mind: Bill Belichick intentionally sabotaged/injured his quarterbacks because he has grown bored with regular football.

I read the books because everyone was talking about it. Either raving about it or hating on it. I wasn't gonna sit that trend out. The housekeeper was hands down my favorite character. I needed more backstory on her. Like was he paying for her kids private education? What did her benefits look like? Did she ever…

here.

I’m a Pats fan, and I look forward to this article every year. It’s hilarious, shows more of Drew than he realizes, and is pretty accurate in some regards.

He’s going by Jam Master Bobert there.

Counterpoint: Why Your Team’s Great: Bob Kraft formed Run CTE.

let me say it again:

The guy the Broncos said, “No, go ahead, you take him. We’ll just go with Mark Sanchez.”

Holy shit.