Fetal alcohol syndrome is such a weird spot for me, because I think people should have complete bodily autonomy. You shouldn’t be forced to donate organs and you should be allowed to get an abortion whenever you want, etc. But also I think it’s messed up to produce a child with a condition that could have ruinous…

The word “racist” is thrown around a lot when it shouldnt be but when youre talking about Trump that is the correct word.

You missed a critical one: Explosive diarrhea out your dick. You think it’s a gamble trusting a fart NOW? Besides unless the diameter of the equipment involved increases, I’m not interested in pooping out a pencil-thin rod of poop every time. I’m not piping a cake here.

Drew Magary is a Deadspin columnist solely responsible for shitting on the Patriots, then taking his shit-filled diaper and flinging it against the internet. You can ignore Drew’s third novel, Tom Brady’s Avocados Are Shaped Like My Soul, through here, there, and everywhere.

Hey Mental, I hope you continue to get better but be patient with yourself while recuperating. Also, just really be careful with things like getting out of baths or climbing up on anything. There are also tons of great groups for people recovering from TBI’s and the like but it can be hard to find a good fit since…

When I was 18, I was driving my moped and got in a collision that would have killed me instantly if I hadn’t had a helmet. I’d grown up with Tri-Care (free military insurance) and didn’t know my insurance info or even how it was supposed to work. Because I couldn’t remember, I was ignored for several hours and almost…

I am an RN at a small, rural hospital—most of our patients are poor and are used to only getting healthcare when it is an emergency. I myself have been lucky enough to always have insurance, and I thought that was pretty darn good.

That’s awful! Are you feeling better?

Fuck you, Gloria Copland, because I am currently experiencing the flu and I’m fucking miserable and all of a sudden getting a flu shot seems like a damn good idea that I didn’t have.

I’m in the Army, so they line us all up and jab us in the arm whether we want it or not. I’ll never forget the time I had to get the yellow fever shot (for a trip that ended up being cancelled) and it made us all sick as dogs. And we still had to go to PT the next morning.

My money’s on: she did get a flu shot. For me/not for thee.

Jesus.

WTF?

Sidenote: The Shells? That’s the school mascot? Is the school district run by an oil company?

Hey y’all I am at MSY airport waiting for my pal to pick me up. Prince is with me in spirit & t shirt.

Why?
You holding?

An ex girlfriend of mine had an aunt that spent years as a waitress before marrying someone with a lot of money.

And to think this happened on Howard Stern’s show of all places! A show where women are mocked daily.

Gronk concusses Brady and himself. What? You asked!

Man, that must have been a taut few moments for your butthole.