Blind items are saying he is in the final stages of AIDS

Don’t call it a comeback!

that’s the tiniest roach ever, wiz.

“yeah I said it / yeah I said it babe / yeah I said it / with fuckin boxers”

Badu added that she wants her daughters, Puma and Mars

I don’t know but I heard everybody dies at the end.

This is like a refined version of the beef between Tamra and Jeanna. I think Yolanda should just throw wine in Vanderpampers eyes, get baptized, and go on a forgiveness tour a la Barney.

Well that’s convenient!

Ben Carson has never been concerned with the facts before, so why should he start now?

Sounds like you just know a bunch of irresponsible potheads, tbh. Or the people you do know who smoke only occasionally are just silent about it so you don't know.

Do they give all their organs the same break. Or just the ones involved in digesting food?

I'm going to regret asking this but what do they think their body does while they're sleeping?

Not eating from 6pm to 10am? A.k.a. “Skipping breakfast”. I always thought I was just being lazy, apparently I’m fasting. Who knew?

A co-worker was asking me about my protein shake, which was just an Atkins shake because I can not get that powdered stuff down. I told her why I liked it and another co-worker said “but it’s full of chemicals!” I think I may have said something about the first ingredient being water...that coworker later reported me…

Did they also use the word “nourish” and “nourishing” a lot? Punch them.

I have a friend with a toddler whose teeth are ashy and rotten, and, in an attempt to address the problem, she “remineralizes” them with cod liver, believing that fluoride is a toxin, and that visiting the dentist is just another way to give money to a fluoride-loving scam artist. I look at the kid’s teeth and I weep.

I simply say “I’m glad that it works for you”.

I. Fucking. Hate. The. *TOXIN* Babble.

You should be put in jail for not making this “NOT a DEA Agent”

Here you go. Fixed it.