You all need a lesson in linguistics. You call everyone me these days which does not speak highly of your ability to discern different usage patterns. Or maybe you are one of the many that believe tomato is synonymous with any troll not a specific one. Either way, I think you’re doing alright and look forward to our…

Interesting that you use a screenshot from your phone instead of the snipper tool on the computer you wrote this article on. Unless you wrote it on the phone from the bar in which case that’s actually pretty cool. Very doubtful though. You screenshitted the grab and emailed it to yourself, saved the file and uploaded…

One week before the Super Bowl and Luis has the nerve to call soccer “football.” I’m never, ever going to return to this site again ever and if you’re looking for a reason why well this is it.

I was wondering the same. Figured I got followed by Splinter again but no such luck. Guess I’ll have to try again next week!

F*CK YEAH LET’S REACH ACROSS THE ISLE ON THIS ONE.

Kids love the 80s because trends run in ~30yr cycles. And because irony is such a hip thing these days and there are all sorts of ridiculous things from the 80s you could now ironically like. Neon, hairband t shirts, fanny packs, the sunglasses have already come back, Donald Trump, and so much more.

af

Trump solved the North Korea issue that Bill Clinton created.  They are no longer hostile and we can thank Donald Trump for that.

Well that’s kind of true. We’re all here to do the same thing - amuse ourselves. And I haven’t and don’t see cause to draw any sort of broad demographic implication from Kaepitalist’s trickery here considering his support is mostly white nerdy bois that just want to impress women with their casual social benevolence,…

R Kelly has good songs though. 

Girlfriend, I am doing that here at The Root.

How do I make this make sense to you...

No they don’t.  Not anymore.  Same goes for the millions of illegals that voted for her.  They know the deal and are now on Trump’s side.  You know it.  I know it.  The Kremlin knows it.

Jesus here we go. Suburban dad sports nut chiming in from Bethesda with “Well actually Kaep was ya know pretty good.  Saw him toss around the pigskin with my own eyes.  Field looks so small at the games but so big on TV.  Anyway  I support him.  He brave.”

FF4Y [Fun Fact For You] - Hillary Clinton never ran for president.  Her reanimated corpse did. 

The North Korean government works better than the American government these days haha but anyways it’s good to see these two at peace with each other.  I can envision a future where we team up with those psychos and do some really interesting and groundbreaking work with respect to invasions and nuclear war.

The age old question of what to do with Baby Hitler.

Russia doesn’t have the internet yet. 

Haha whatever man those dudes were ballers.  That was the life.

There are millions of reasons why killing baby Adolf would be a bad idea, chief among them the concept of self-determination!  You would have had no idea whether he would pursue art, politics, or anything else.  Stop pretending that everything is just fate.  We have a say in our own futures and so did little Adolf.