I miss when Deadspin was “Don’t be not funny”

This whole ‘not answering his phone’ thing has to be made up. So what if the GM doesn’t answer his phone, there is an Assistant GM and lots of other front office folks he could have spoken with. Did they also not answer their phones? Were they not available too? It’s not like Magic Johnson made Demps’ aides disappear.

+525,600 minutes

Maybe his calls weren’t going through because he doesn’t have AT&T-cells.

Mavs: Okay, so we’ll give you Dennis Smith Jr., take a couple expiring contracts, and...

LBJ is what spanish hookers called him.

Maybe if it's a tennis ball.

Now those are some hot dogs!

he spent the better part of three days eating Jeni’s Ice Cream.

You remember that Sunday morning, two months after dad left, you wake up and notice mom’s hair is seriously mussed, and then you walk into the kitchen and dad is making eggs like the past eight weeks never happened . . .

I haven’t seen a trophy get messed up that badly since Donnie No-Wall unplugged Melania while she was still installing updates.

“Superbowl LXIX better be damn creative.”

Swing low... sweet Corey’s foot... givin’ up a bonus freethrowwwww...

Jesus, ol’ Greta’s literally got shooters

Republicans watch high school basketball too.

Getting to the Super Bowl is incredibly difficult to do and takes such an unbelievable commitment from a team and support from its fans.

Lowe was competing for PBR at the National Western Stock Show

Dirt Burglars

Wow, talk about a heel turn.

Look philaDJ, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.