Yes, I do know the origin story behind the turtles. In fact, I know several versions of the origin story. Including the origin story told in the Eastman and Laird comics.

Somewhere in a New York City sewer these guys are watching that trailer:

Jesus, ow, my childhood...

I'm going to need to vent some of the Marvel Cinematic Universe-related excitement that I was left with after seeing Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Ultron.

I have a four-letter word for this:

What the actual fuck is going on here?

I know.
I'm one of the great miracles of the cosmos. An equation that shouldn't exist. Division by zero. A Star Wars fan who's also a fan of Star Trek... A gamer who grew up with Doom, but has never played Wolfenstein.

That's not to say that I don't think this game looks great. Because it does. It actually looks very…

I've never played a Wolfenstein game.
I'm not really big on games that have real life people, organizations or groups as enemies. I mean, sure the nazis did some unimaginably horrible things and the ideology behind those acts was equally disturbing, but... I don't want to play a game where the core gameplay revolves…

JESUS FUCKING TITTY-SUCKING SHITFUCK!!!
AAAAAAARGH! SONOFABITCH! FFFFFFUCKING SSSSSHHHH——-!!!

Sorry... I just... Sorry.

Have you seen this: http://skrillex.com/skrillex-mishk…
This seemingly broken old website's actual purpose is to sell Mishka clothing and promote the new Skrillex song, "Doompy Poomp". Only, you've got to find and unlock both the webstore and the song download link.

(I also found it mildly amusing that when you download…

How to make your face look like your own beautiful face:

1. Place make-up products in your hand
2. Clench hand into a fist
3. Yell: "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"
4. Throw make-up products at bathroom mirror
5. Look beautiful

It's not trivial.

Do you know the meaning of the English word "next"?
It's this:

: (of a time) coming immediately after the time of writing or speaking :
: coming immediately after the present one in order, rank, or space :
: on the first or soonest occasion after the present; immediately afterwards :

The only fucking time…

Look, I usually try to avoid posting complaints, but I feel one coming right now.

There is no current-gen version of Batman: Arkham Knight?
Are the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One STILL not considered current-gen?
The PlayStation 4 has been out for, what, four months? That's just two months shy of half a year. And people…

On that I can agree.

Okay. Wow. Yeah, that sounds like your world would definitely be a better place if all onions would just disappear from existence altogether.

Wh—? Wha? But... onions are the best .____.
Fresh. Uncooked. Onions... MM!

Goat cheese is from hell if you cook it.
If it's uncooked, it's the best cheese in the history of ever.

But it's not a vegetable.

Yes.

Um, yeah. Funny story:
Before World War II, there was the World War I.