Well, we agree. We both seem to think that that corny old line from AA is right. The first step is acknowledging there's a problem. As I said, there are many great things about NZ. But not attitudes towards sexual assault. It doesn't help to pretend there's not a problem in the name of patriotism.

I'm not sure if I understand you correctly. Are you saying that we should never interpret our observations? Just in case someone else might not have the same perspective? Or just in case there is a data point somewhere that doesn't fit a general observation?

I don't understand what you're trying to say here. I have observed that the majority of people I have met in a certain place seem to have a particular attitude. But you're saying I should keep that to myself in case I "offend people." Give me a break.

That's exactly what I saw. I am a woman and I found that for the first time in my life, I had to deal with little comments about my lifestyle choices (focusing on a career and a nerd career). But you're right. It's not deliberately mean. It just seems like these things aren't talked about much (it would take a lot…

That's an interesting take on it, Burninator. I have struggled with that NZ-is-not-backward-so-where-do-these-attitudes-come-from question myself. You're much better with words than I am. "stealthy form of misogyny" is perfect, where I wrote screeds trying to express myself.

Well, it seems like you're trying to get personal in order to avoid dealing with the issues here. If you can do that, then you don't have to acknowledge that there's a problem, right? But I'll bite.

You raise an important point there... It is an important part of the identity to be socially liberal. Maybe this is one reason why many are so reluctant to acknowledge that there's a problem.

This is not about me. If you can't avoid getting personal, then I have to wonder whether you are ready to face the issue. That said, I am not portraying myself as an expert. I have been straightforward about where I'm coming from and the degree of knowledge I have (for example, I'm not a social worker).

Your attitude doesn't surprise me, unfortunately. Nothing to see here, folks! Move right along...

I found that being vocal helped a lot—calling people out when they said shocking/cruel things about young women.

If you are a New Zealander, then I have to congratulate you on being the first one I know of to actually admit there's a problem. At the risk of sounding condescending (I don't mean to be), the more people like you acknowledge that there's a problem, the faster it will be solved.

otautahi, yes, I'm aware that there are many socioeconomic groups in New Zealand (not that I think that these have much influence on attitudes towards sexual assault there). As I pointed out earlier, my job in science involves understanding the pitfalls of generalization. I am generally highly critical of the…

As I said elsewhere, I am not a social worker. I did volunteer work and my career is very different. I lived in NZ for years and I met a wide range of people.

I hope you're right about that, Ol' Auntie Em. I definitely think that the increase in tourism in NZ is leading to some attitude changes. People are being exposed to modern attitudes towards sexual assault.

I'm sorry, but I see no point to attempting a discussion with someone whose idea of one is to accuse people of trolling. I will say that as a scientist, I am aware of the pitfalls of making generalizations. In this particular situation, unfortunately, I think it is appropriate to generalize.

Well, I didn't bring that up. On one hand, it is great that they are actually saying they'd like to take action (that's a first). But I have to wonder whether they would be saying that if it weren't for the attention the case is getting. I am highly doubtful that they would.

In New Zealand, it simply is not that unusual for this kind of thing to happen. It is so common that I highly doubt the police would see anything that unusual about the situation. And good luck getting girls to testify when they would be shunned by everyone if they did make a complaint, for being slutty and luring…

Because I doubt that there's anyone on the police force who sees anything wrong with this. It is quite common for girls there to become sexually active at a young age. And often when it happens, it is with an older man.

Well, unfortunately, this does not surprise me. Many people think that attitudes towards sexual assault victims are backward in the US. But having spent a considerable part of my life in New Zealand and Australia, my opinion is that things could be much worse.

You don't have time to read what people have to say, so you just go ahead and guess? Well, if you can't take the time, then your comments on what people have said don't mean much, right? It sounds like you have a general opinion you want to share, so go right ahead. But maybe start a new thread.