You forgot the part about the Browns hiring Fisher as Coach/GM.

Chief Prosecutor at the “Judgement of Urineberg”:

If he super spikes that ball, it might go just as far away from the officials as it did from his throw, which was the reason for the flag. Silly is the NFL rule book.

Selig’s response:

“Good God! That’s Donald Trump’s music!”

And our problem is that Al’s views in 1983 are still considered “progressive”.

My take was that Gary Johnson wasn’t hearing a name of a city, but some political acronym, drug, or a new mobile app. “ALEPO” might be the American Legal Experts Protection Order or some other trending topic he wasn’t aware of. If he had seen it written down as “Aleppo, Syria”, there’s a good chance he would have…

Be honest, how many people are going to see that through the toll booth window?

Jeff Ross was on Conan last week to promote the roast, and said that when he found out AC was going to be on the dais, he stopped writing Rob Lowe jokes and exclusively wrote jokes about her.

Ditto. Nothing makes me feel more patriotic than to have my dick in my hand while the national anthem plays. Now that’s respect!

It’s like she wants to create a group of people to support Lynch. What would you call such a group?

I only cared in the sense that it would be nice for a superstar football player to force people to confront their prejudices and still be successful.

Later in the match, Murray was stung by a bee.

For a while, I thought Odell Beckham might be gay. Now I really hope he is.

Now, he’s not even a sub.

I say this is progress because....

Considering that he is a thin-orange-skinned jerk that owns multiple golf courses, it’s doubtful he’s spent much time at ones he doesn’t own. Probably maintains the Winged Foot GC membership strictly for social status, and certain that he has his Foundation pay for it.

Every possession was the point guard driving into traffic, shooting a contested three or dumping it into the post for an awkward shot from a big man.

Um, melted down a few years later and used for something else? Romans really didn’t give a shit about other people’s religions as much as they did their gold & slaves.

Good examples. I was kinda thinking that Jimmy Carr’s joke wasn’t particularly original. It just doesn’t get used all that often in person like that.