HAHAHAHAHA!!!

They aren’t residents of California, are they? If they are residents of California, he is going to be giving her a LOT OF MONEY.

Since you outed yourself as a divorce attorney.... Would you expect that she’ll get 50% of what he earned during their marriage? And does the length of their marriage impact her spousal support at all?

I know, karma is a beast, but if they separated two days later and she filed the next day, this divorce was in motion well before his mom died. I’m not going to cry for him vis a vis timing.

It still seems a touch harsh...on a more upbeat note, these two couldn’t look more alike.

As a divorce lawyer, my eye is twitching at the idea of Johnny fucking Depp not having a prenup.

THE SACRIFICING BEGINS

THE AUSTRALIAN PEOPLE AND THEY’RE SACRIFICING THE DOGS TO THE KANGAROO MAFIA.

NO PRENUP!!

They didn’t even make it to the ‘one month for every year of our age difference’ stage of their marriage.

Someday I hope to be described as the favored return client of a celebrity divorce attorney.

Vanessa Paradis is cackling most delightedly in her French mansion with a glass of the good stuff and the pool boy.

WHO GETS THE DOGS?

as soon as i heard this i couldnt help but think it was depply upfortunate timing

you know what was worse than the dog apology video? THE RUM DIARIES.

Or it just didn’t make any difference. A divorce filing is rarely a surprise. They probably broke up a while ago. This is pure paperwork, and he doesn’t need to do anything at present.

I literally watched her break up with her gf at the restaurant that I worked at. A month later...she was with Johnny. You have a chance.

And his mother just died a few days ago, which is either really cruel or really unfortunate timing.

I really want him to not be terrible but he is NOT doing well. I kinda don’t blame her at the same time that I hope he stops aging like Stephen Tyler and starts being more Robert Downey, Jr. Post-All-Those-Troubles.

Not surprised Amber’s getting out now.