They'd be too busy agreeing with each other and reinforcing their narrow views that the "fight" would turn quickly into a literal circle jerk.

I am now changing into my secret identity as That Person. I'm going to be That Person.

First thing I noticed: his literacy level rivals most attorneys with whom I work. In fact, he's more literate.

When I read the headline I made a flippant "ByeFelipe" comment to myself and now all I can think is "Jesus, take the fucking wheel already!!!"

It's absolutely disgusting that victims of violent crime have to raise money to get their medical bills covered.

A Republican mouthpiece was on NPR talking about how they were going to hold up all appointments because of this. And I was just thinking

Surprised FoxNews isn't broadcasting it with the title "Live: Obama takes America from YOU and gives it to THEM"

I WIN THIS GAME. I TOTALLY WIN THIS GAME.

What I'm most surprised by is how Vladimir Putin finds the time to referee. That guy is everywhere.

Yeah. It would be too tempting to go, "The theme of this party is: Your Shithead Parents Have Too Much Money."

I know, people always would tell me I should be a party planner (because I did come up with some cool party ideas when my daughter was younger, like a Wizard of Oz birthday party) for rich people and I was like, "Are you kidding? I would probably end up stabbing them to death!"

I know this is supposed to make us all "ugh, kids, these days", but honestly it makes me wish their parents paid more taxes.

Riiiight?! It's like, talk to me about Millennials when the Boomers clean up the environment that they ruined.

I'm stunned someone spent seven weeks with this assbutt. This level of assbuttery is irrepressible, so it must have irrupted earlier. In any case, congratulations to the woman in question for this boil popping by itself.

omg every reason is it's own little world of WTFness, like a box of bizarre-stuffed truffles

i am so mad that like, the kkk took AMAZING WORD COMBOS for their leadership. imperial wizard? i want to be that. and then i learn what that is and COME ON

i will invite her onto my morning show where everyone wears pjs and i just make outlandish statements consistently.

Temptation to start "Help Diplo's Micropenis" gofundme page rising. Rising. RISING.

I tolerate public proposals so long as 1) the couple has already agreed to marry in principle, 2) the proposee has spoken often about their desire for a particular kind of public proposal, and 3) no one else is unduly inconvenienced in the process.

She had entirely too much fun with this. She is getting more awesome with every less fuck she gives.