3/10. Troll better next time.

Now all we need is for someone in the Pence family to be diagnosed with a brain tumor, and this will be All My Triggering Childhood Memories Wrapped Up In Someone I Hate And Pity At The Same Time.

Whenever I heard her referred to as “Mrs. Clinton” instead of “Secretary Clinton” during the debates, I bristled. Probably a slip of tongue, but still. She was the Secretary of State and you’re referring to her as someone’s wife? FOH.

Wait a minute, Jason Jones who used to be on the Daily Show too? They’re married?

To escape the pain of present-day bullshit as a high schooler, I often fantasize about how much better everything and everyone will be in college. That’s what keeps me working at SAT prep, “for a better forever so you don’t have to exist among the assholes who surround you currently”.

Maybe it’s severe insecurity, like a bullied teenager who takes sexual innuendos from strangers as a compliment, except forever instead of just ninth grade?

My anger was directed at mekki, not you. I needed to express my anger in a way that wasn’t a direct “fuck you”, because a) if I must say that about a person in a non-facetious way, I’ll type it into a void which they’ll never see (e.g. telling Donald Trump in a comment on Jezebel), and b) chucking “fuck you”s around…

As a Queens resident who is preparing for college, can we stop this shit and just clarify that Queens is a large and heterogenous place? The entire borough isn’t South Jamaica. We are NOT the “inner city” just because we have black and Hispanic people. Everyone lives here. Everyone. I am getting really tired of people…

Also, both of my parents were born in Queens and I’ve lived there for the past five years. I am personally embarrassed to hail from the same place as the Orlando shooter and Donald Trump. (We can debate which one is worse.)

I quit the country an hour ago when Wallace said the A-word. Now I’m rejoining the country just so I can quit it again. Trump literally said he’d “look into it” if he loses because the system is rigged against him. This is bordering on treason. And the election hasn’t even happened yet. Imagine what’s going to happen…

That’s how I got my first kiss. Some guy who apparently lived in the neighborhood (but I’d never seen him before) started chatting me up on the bus when I was 15, and that’s how it ended. He continued to send me suggestive texts for a month afterwards until it became clear I was thinking of having a real relationship…

Condolences from a former suburbanite New Yorker (NYC resident for the past five years). I wasn’t even that far upstate- like less than 50 miles north of Manhattan- but yes, bumpkin af, which amazes me because how was THIS my place in the world literally six years ago, amongst people who looked nothing like me and…

My first thought:

Holy shit.

This was freaking gold. But the wrong place in that episode for a Lemonade reference. The right place was during the debate when Trump brought out Bill’s mistresses. I was READY for Hillz to suddenly be wearing Beyonce’s yellow dress and grab a bat and start swinging it around while “Hold Up” plays. And then do the…

I know. Still, that’s not far back enough.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Ben Carson is like my rich godfather. If my godfather was Satan.

We’d also need a time machine back to the 1930s 16th century.

I’m a young (mid teens) black girl who only ever had to see this kind of footage in historical documentaries. Now it’s on the nightly news. I am near tears watching this. When I was little I saw some movie about the 60s (the one with that “I Want You” song; I forgot what it’s called) and I cried the next morning…

My aunt (well, cousin who’s 50 years my senior) is the same way. She’s voted Republican for years to stop abortion, so she’s REALLY caught between a rock and a hard place here (because we’re black and Trump is a racist and also just a garbage human all around). But she absolutely CANNOT vote for Clinton, because she’s…