I think we underscore the impact of charisma and also of meeting people where they are.

I don’t get the reactions to this at all. Am I the only one here who’s ever known anyone who had an off-putting personal style? Because I’ve known a couple people who routinely dressed in unflattering ways that seemed to go along with a general desire to avoid getting too much attention, all seemingly based on low…

That platitude always drives me a little bit crazy. It smacks of condescension. Some people actually never do meet the lid to their pot. Some are OK with this. Others are lonely. This is a fact. Not everyone has this happily ever after fairytale.

That could be, or it could be that she’s making excuses, or just that even though she dresses up she’s not comfortable with herself that way and that discomfort mars the effect, or who knows what else. Either way, the reaction was all wrong—when a patient bristles that noticably, that’s usually a sign that you’re…

Okay I see this frequently; “I’m fat/frumpy and men love me!” Is it possible that while you are X trait that is often grouped into the overhead of “ugly,” you aren’t actually ugly just because you’re X? Going with that logic, is it also possible that someone can actually be ugly and NOT able to attract men, and also…

I think he was probably right to bring it up, but the way he handled her reluctance was all wrong. I feel like the thing to do would’ve been like, “I can see you’re reacting strongly to discussion about your appearance—is this a sore point for you?” and explore why that is. The impression I’d get from that reaction is…

I feel like this is why so many bi women (and men) are afraid to come out and say that they’re bi, because aparently questioning your sexuality is just trying it on for a day and that’s what posers do...

So is the whole issue the lie? Would it be okay if she had been open about the whole thing?

So, just to follow your logic, it’s not ok because she can choose to go back to being white? So if there was an easy way to switch back to being a man, would that make it not OK?

MK, don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s inconsistent to say you can change your sex to suite your identity “medically” but the same cannot be done with race if you “exclude tanning etc”. Why exclude tanning (which anyone can do) when you’ve included medical procedures (which are far more extreme)?

If being transgender was really about having a biologically different brain, we would make people get a biological test before transitioning. I agree with live and let live.

Gender is also a social construct. The funny thing is that the gender essentialism usually used to fuel trans(gender)phobia is now being used by Macabre Kitten to defend transgenderism in an extremely twisted way.

I don’t think you’re qualified to make that assessment. Other than than genitalia and secondary sexual characteristics, there is nothing that separates a man from a woman, they have they have the same mind etc etc.

As far as I can tell, here’s the issue: Different methodologies are used to apply labels. You can label people by genetics, by culture, by historical facts, or by self-identification.

This only works if we agree that gender is not a social construct, coz race sure as hell is a construct

Other than skin colour and hair texture or things like that, there is NOTHING that is inherently different between a White Female body and a Black Female body. Only the history and the cultural structures around the two bodies are different.

Race and gender are both social constructs. Let’s not forget that in this argument.

Gender is absolutely a social construct. Sex has biological components.

otter??