What do you mean, “not found in nature?”

Wait, so I really only had to cut my daily snack of a cattle salt block in half to avoid stroking out?

The Carpenters’ tribute album - If I Were A Carpenter:

Do you edit your material before you post? There are two errors in the first sentence alone.

I’m pretty tired of the same 200 movies getting passed around streaming services to make it seem like they are actually dynamic content providers.

Also double fuck you for hating kids until you had one and then immediately turning hypocrite. You’re the reason the world hates Americans. You’re the reason we root for nuclear armageddon.

That’s fine and all, but when your kid is having that meltdown, you’d better get him or her out of there. Fuck the parents who let their child sit there and scream its head off or climb the walls or knock over everything in sight. If I have to snatch your little shit up by the collar, things are going to get a lot…

I cared for over a dozen kids in my home in just about 6 years. If they can’t behave in public, they didn’t get to go to the store. They got much better very quickly.

That’s because the children will be the food.

I don’t have kids, I don’t want kids, and I sure as heck don’t want to listen to them tantrum. Get them out of where you are in public and either go outside or to a bathroom and deal with it, but seriously, don’t make me deal with it because you’re to lazy to teach your child a constructive lesson.

If you kids are that bad, I think you are doing something wrong and shouldn’t bring them out in public.

They should do a “What If?” style show that just crosses over two of their other shows at random every week.

Way to be an asshole, douchebag.

I read this wrong and was briefly shocked to learn that there was an awkward sex scene with an adult woman in one of the 3 Ninjas movies.

I hope I’ll be forgiven for the implicit condescension of this question, but: How old are these staffers? Old enough to remember the completely earnest hype and marketing for this movie? I mean, its status as a camp classic came AFTER the movie bombed and was savaged by critics.

Jason Alexander sings the theme song or get the fuck out.

My headcanon is 100% the animal.

I want Paul Welsh to win all the Emmies just for holding that cock-eyed yet sincere look of a Ken doll left too close a gas burner for every scene.

The cat song was the hardest I’d laughed at any song this season...until about a minute later when the Trent theme song happened.