It's entirely possible that the individual who wrote this "paper" is actually an intelligent and well-educated young man, and turned in something like this because this was all he was required to produce.

And they both sucked.

Not even going downhill. Now, falling off a cliff... maybe.

What is that?

Grab hand, break fingers. Simple, elegant, fun.

There are things we know we know. And there are things we know we don't know. But then there are the things we don't know we don't know, and those are the things you are asking us about.

It shouldn't be too hard to find a car in Canadia. They only got the one road.

Yeah there is a trunk button on there, but it only works when the motor is off, so... saves you the trip outside, I guess. Sucks in places where your passenger is getting something in/out of the trunk, and not you... airport, shopping spouse, that sort of thing.

RUSTY SLAMMINGTON!

It's got no airbags, so it's gotta be pre-'95, I think.

Fiat 600 Cabrio... looks fun. And cold. Probably mostly cold.

This is Jalopnik, where the car is the thing. Fuck people.

If you're gambling, you should be drinking for 'free'. If you're not gambling, why the fuck did you come to Vegas? Rolling into town with your own case of beer in your trunk is like bringing a Hustler mag and some lube, because you already know you ain't gonna get no pussy on this trip either.

It levels out when you've got a fat English businessman sitting in it.

I was waiting for the one solid contact with his face, but unfortunately it never came.

Cops aren't peace officers. I know, they are supposed to be, and they used to be, but they aren't anymore.

And in Texas in particular, they may never have been.

Too soon?

This one is perfect.

I'm almost certain that a car with many hundreds of horse powers is not right for the demographic that rarely breaks 60mph in the fast lane while still awake or breathing.