so when my tit blocked my view

Great, something else for me to be terrified of...hyperextending my tongue while eating. THANKS A LOT.

who detached me from the mixer

I think we need a whole column about "what's the dumbest sex-related way you've ever gotten injured"...

OK your original post (was I knew what was going on) was amazing. I laughed out loud so much that I woke up my cat. Things we write while drunk = gold mines of awesome.

I broke my ankle by just stepping down a 1" step from the bathroom to the hallway in my college dorm. WTF. How can our ankles be so awesome and then randomly break like that????

...but how amazing would it be if you ACTUALLY HAD a slip-n-slide into your kitchen??

...but how amazing would it be if you ACTUALLY HAD a slip-n-slide into your kitchen??

I just snorted wine out my nose. That's amazing.

This sounds so much like something that my husband would do that I am honestly afraid he will see your post and his response will be "DIY slip-n-slide with painters plastic? That sounds like a GREAT idea!!" Totally ignoring the gave-himself-a-concussion part, of course...

WHAAAAT

I think you may have won. I could totally picture myself doing that, too.

Also "just as long as it doesn't have any carcasses"

That truly does make it even worse. Exponentially worse.

*dies laughing*

But what would you get??

Yeah, I had the exact same reaction.

Oh no no no, I've just never had cable! So I've basically seen very few music videos ever. I meant that I couldn't believe I hadn't seen that particular one since it seems like it would pop up regularly in MILF convos. (Probably it does and I've just never bothered to click Play before.)

Classy.