Your lips to God’s ears

—between two ferns.

Zach Galifanakis will be doing some cross-examining.  

John C. Reilly to testify as a medical expert witness.

We now bring you Patton’s testimony, live from next month -

I hear Tim Heidecker will be acting as defense counsel.

I’m sure Khloe only sent those more conciliatory tweets this morning because of huge backlash she got in response to the first set of tweets.

Too bad American Vandal was cancelled.

I’m on team Claire 2, if only because making sure the other person came first is the courteous thing to do.

I’m as ghostly pale as you can get and even I'll say this is way too much white bullshit.

This sounds like a case for American Vandal, season 3!

I'm holding out for Pride and Prejudice and mistletoe and zombies. 

You had me at Nick Frost as an inept oncologist.

You had me at Nick Frost as an inept oncologist.

i’ll take the bag if nobody else claims it

Dear American cousins I have watched some of Sick Note, it’s very funny and a bit dark.

Good for you. You could have swept this under the rug but didn’t. 

+1 for hitting that on the button. 

I wondered why they skipped that? They need a real curler in the house.