When I graduated from high school, I learned about facts. And stuff.

I was hoping Angie would be the trained killer. We all know she gets reincarnated into badass Alex on Nikita.

I need a boob job, so after the Obamacare does that for me, I'm going to get some of the pot to help with side effects post-surgery. Then, I need some abortions because when I smoke the pot, I get a hankering for sex. Once I contract AIDS from the republican senator who touched my foot under an omni-gender bathroom…

lolz!

You were thinking of Zathras. Not Zathras.

Why can't Zathras ever have anything nice?

They visit websites like this—only it's the monster truck, man-centric version. And they all pat each other on the back about their Fox News literacy and whose beard looks the most like Chris Kyle's.

I get one in each class. Sometimes two. Students commenting on my breast-size, my makeup, my clothing. They're pretty sly, too, because the evaluations are anonymous and I never ever recognize their handwriting. And I certainly never tell other professors who they are and what they wrote.

Awww, their poor ruined lives. I'm just so.....

It wasn't scary. They relied too much on creepy "Freakshow" factor, which in and of itself is kind of meh.

That tutorial is great, but the girl already has full lips. I have a small mouth with a small upper lip. (Think Nicole Kidman before botox.) There's just so little you can do with makeup, but damn if I don't make it work. And she looks so much better without the trout pout.

They were measuring from the bunghole and going up and over the balls.

He even makes apologizing look elegant. Go figure.

this is my Clan of the Cavebear movie....

Eh, looks okay, but it's taking itself super seriously. Like Dark Knight surrioussss. And I guess coming off Guardians of the Galaxy, I'm kind of shrugging a bit.

I STOLE the BABY!!!

All teh kitteh gifs...

I know. That one on the right doesn't look 18.

I love Canadian TV