The pancake one reminds me of one my nephew, age three, said recently. My dad is kinda awesome at pancakes. He makes shapes and characters and everything (once he made a giraffe riding a unicycle just to prove that he could). Sunday mornings are pancake mornings at grandma and grandpa's house, so my nephews were over.…

Okay, only, I was JUST having this conversation about mass shootings. If over the course of several years, dozens of say, Asian women, started shooting up public places, there would be nonstop coverage of it and every news outlet would be wondering what it was about the Asian culture and/or femininity that led to this…

Uh, K'nex were the shit. One of the best presents my parents ever got us was a huge thing of K'nex. Those were the best things ever. Well, right up until my sister accidentally closed the door to the den while the cat was still in it and he ended up using the box they were kept in as a litterbox. To this day, I still…

The comments, good lord the comments! To think, these nice Christian people took the time on Christmas day to talk about how they wish it was the cap of an electric chair and call him a faggot. Jesus must be so proud.

In my experience it's rarely that the family sits down and discusses hot political topics over the dinner table as it is your relatives just kinda displaying how racist/sexist/homophobic they are without even realizing. Like, Uncle Frank is telling this amusing anecdote about his annoying boss (who you should know…

Okay yeah, that first paragraph was very close to my first time. Senior year of high school, we didn't really like each other but always had a flirty thing going on, we were both rebounding and someone decided it would be a great idea if we were together. It wasn't.

With my first kiss, it wasn't so much his tongue as the fact that he seemed intent on swallowing my entire face. Ick, just remembering it makes me feel like I need a shower.

Oh my first kiss was so bad! I was fourteen and he thought that I had this adorable trait of nuzzling my head in the crook of his shoulder after making out, when in fact I was trying to subtly wipe the saliva off my face with his shirt.

I'm not embarrassed too much by the guy I lost my virginity to, I am however embarrassed by the fact that the woman who later married him hates my guts for it and is convinced that I am still in love with him. Despite the fact that I haven't spoken to the guy in over five years and even when I had nothing to compare…

I worked at WS too and while a lot of their pricy stuff is worth the money (my dream kitchen has a full set of copper core saucepans and everything Le Creuset has ever made) the little stuff is never worth it.

Yeah, I learned my lesson after those darn Martha Stewart teacakes mold. I don't know what the hell my problem is, but I just can't make them work. I'm an awesome chef and a very talented cake decorator but those things just defeat me.

I have a fucking degree in pastry arts from one of the top cooking schools in the country and yet I still can't make those fancy WS cake molds look like anything other than a pile of cake. And believe me, I've tried.

OMG, that is amazing. It's inspired by caveman flint knives! Flint knives, AKA kinda sharp rocks AKA the reason why actual knives were invented in the first place.

I worked at WS a few years back and I don't remember anything this ridiculous either! Like yeah, they had expensive shit but at least it was expensive shit worth the money. I mean, I didn't have the money to spend on it, but the Main Line socialites we catered to definitely did.

It reads like something a teen beauty queen would say in her interview portion right before the video was uploaded to youtube so we could all make fun of her.

Her privacy was violated. That is not something you say "so the fuck what?" about.

No, the lesson is don't hack into other people's private photos, don't share nudes that were not meant for sharing and don't be a rapey douche canoe with no respect for women's bodies or privacy.

If you think its unusual for someone to use a fifty or a hundred on a purchase under twenty dollars, clearly you've never worked retail. Happens to me at least twice a week. And normally its first thing in the morning, meaning the ass nuggets end up cleaning out my till.

When I was a kid, my parents let us rent a movie on Saturday nights. It was basically a rotation of the same unbelievably cheesy movies made in the late eighties or early nineties. All of which my three sisters and I thought were the height of cinematography. This movie was one of the more often rented movies.

Youtube has it broken up into ten parts, but its all there.