The main problem with electric mixers is that it’s very easy to overdo the whipping, to the point that nine times out of ten, it will be overdone. Instead of soft creamy cream that melts away in your mouth, you get a stiff buttery result. Stick mixers are even worse, because they don’t get enough air into the cream, so…

Hand whipping actually makes an inferior product. It’s less stable, hand whipped whipped cream has a tendency to collapse or weep.

Like “confection sugar.” Pfft. Please. You have sugar? You have a coffee grinder? Cool, you have confection sugar too.

I am sure your food is the most bland and boring ever.

Whipped cream doesn’t need to last. To me, that’s like looking for eggs or coffee that can be served hours after cooking - it’s missing the point, which is freshness.
(But does last for a couple of hours if refrigerated)

For reference I’m a 6'1" 292 lbs powerlifter with a 36" waist and 30" thighs.

“Athletic” is so many different things. A weight lifter and a long distance runner do not have the same body shape, and should not use the same cut.

I have a couple of pairs of shrink-to-fits, but unfortunately, they do not shrink to fit all contours. Around 15% shrinkage in length and 5% in width is as much as you get. If the width is far too roomy, no amount of shrinking them will cure that. Even when boiling them and hanging them with dumb bells in each leg to…

My problem is finding jeans for my non-athletic butt.
Being a “skinny runner” type, most jeans hang like a sack around my butt and upper thighs, and stretch versions are even worse, as they hug the lower thigh, calling attention to the fact that I can fit a broiler chicken at each butt cheek.

Hijet truck JUMBO California?
I think “jumbo” must be lost in translation. It would probably fit in the back of a Cadillac Escalade...

The Hellcat is equally capable blasting down the drag strip, cruising around town in traffic, or eating up miles on a road trip.

If it’s comfortable, they did something wrong.
It should have about the same comfort level as riding a V2 out of Peenemunde.

I guess. Much the same as Nutella.

True, but it does come in nicer colors than the perfect car:

Compared to a brick it is giant.

The only real problem with machine whipping is that it’s very easy to overdo it, and not get the delicious soft surface. But sure, if you watch it very carefully and stop the right second, it works.

It can be re-whipped!

But if you’d rather not have it, then enjoy it. Just don’t yuck other people’s yum.

Organic Valley pasteurized heavy cream is widely available. (Not the ultra-pasteurized version, which has additives).