“the latter has a genuine problem with these groups of people; the former does not.”

It’s pretty weird how much people will flip out at you for saying you didn’t enjoy the special. That hunkahunkakinja troll and a couple other freaks went off at me in an AV Club thread about this for literally saying, “I didn’t think it was funny so I turned it off.”

I am sharing this to find the last few remaining Problematic White Dudes on my social media. Then blocking them when they inevitably argue about it. I am a female comic, and I am tired as fuck about trying to explain why I did not enjoy this performance.

Funny how when you punch down, you attract other people with a history of punching down.

82 when you’re sleeping? Good god, I would never sleep.

i just want to throw out there that you suck and nobody likes you.

Don’t do this, just don’t do this. Unless you are Panama, his wife or their children’s pediatrician don’t do this. This is a sweet story about the marvels of children, this is a father feeling that we might want to read about how his son is sweet, shy, likes different things (which toddlers often do), and has love for…

I discovered recently that my SO never learned how to read properly. He’s not illiterate, by any means, but he skipped around schools so much in early childhood that he never got a consistent reading curriculum. So he like... reads some of the words, but not in order? And then surmises the meaning from that?

Once I…

If a person on the street asks you for the time and you are like the millions of people who DON’T wear a watch, do NOT raise your phone up to check the time. That’s when they grab your phone and run.

I think you might be a sociopath.

Wow. Red wine mixed with Coke sounds like the sort of disgusting concoction a 15 year old would invent. Perhaps it is delicious, but it sounds like it tastes like vomit on the way down, as well as up.

the bathroom window thing sounds like someone took a dump in a paranoid person’s house and forgot to relock

Reader’s Digest is a kinder, gentler distillation of Fox News paranoia.

In the middle of the night in a residential area?  yes people do.  Maybe not come running loaded for bear but I will look out the window.  If I see their car going off in the garage?  yeah then I’m coming over

I prefer my sleep with a pitbull (mix) method. Cute, snuggly and will go off on her own as needed. I suspect the barking would be more likely to deter someone breaking and entering than a car alarm everyone will ignore. Plus she might, possibly (probably not) try to protect me. Unless by protect I mean demand belly…

Louisville Slugger works better, and you’ll look less like a LARP reject.

• Add thorny shrubs to your landscaping. And you will curse these every time you have to trim them.

My thought exactly.  When a car alarm goes off in a neighborhood, the only reaction is, “Why don’t they turn that thing off?”  When one goes off in a parking lot, no one reacts at all.  In fact, alarms are generally ignored everywhere.  My wife was stuck on an elevator, pressed the alarm button, and then heard people…

What about claymore mines? Surely you're still vulnerable if you lack any means of turning burglars into hamburger.

So Reader’s Digest lives in an area (or era) where people still pay attention to car alarms?