Stupid... scratchy... contact lenses...

Waa, waa, haters. It's been done before and it's a freaking commercial but it's still going to be entertaining. I am looking forward to it. (But sorry, I have enough shoes.)

* Dramamine and puke bucket sold separately

That's not even a bad translation of the Jobs blurb; it was actually written by Jesus Diaz on a drunken bender.

(4th) Both of those big crashes at Le Mans were caused by what appeared to be egregious driver error. Toyota's driver was good enough to admit his mistake. Ferrari's, not so much.

It was just a really bad day...

Tomorrow's Craigslist: "LIGHTLY USED FRS WILL TRADE FOR LIFTED TRUCK OR CIVIC"

Yeah, great. Don't look for the Vulcans first; jump straight to the Borg/Cylons/Daleks.

...or they didn't go through a 1000-year technological Dark Age.

Well, Kirk, you'll probably hate the hell out of this, then.

Pintos... rear ends... fires...

Well, don't you see, it's an excellent bit of fun, that — it's just Brian1321 making fun of "I Hate American Cars". #jokeruined

I found that two used-up R-comp tires — one lying down and one standing up within it — turned magically into excellent picnic chairs for my back patio.

I want to start an early driver education program and import 20 of these suckers right meow.

"Are you all right? Good. I need to go finish kicking that guy's ass."

This is what modern SUVs are missing. Vinyl seats. Try to take some current-model frilly thing mudding. Cloth? You poor bastard. Leather? Enjoy the extra cost while you sort-of clean it up and hope it didn't get too wet.

well this is what came up in google image search

white 2005 Infiniti G20 at similar angle for comparison

I have to say, I would not be opposed to the addition of a candy-red button on the dashboard.

The one that puts a smile on your face every time you sit behind the wheel.